Symphonic Leadership

I recently released my lastest newsletter titled "A New Picture of Leadership".

In this new approach to leadership, the focus is on the followers! It's premise is that there is no pre-determined set of characteristics or traits that assure a person is a good or great leader. In this new model, the traits that the leader needs to be successful depends upon the nature of their team.

I call this new approach to leadership "symphonic leadership". As a conductor, you must understand a variety of components including the musical composition (the goal, structure and process), the individual players, their instruments, and their capabilities (the team, their tools and their talents), and the means of orchestrating all of these elements together to produce the harmonious blend of sounds that will move the souls of the audience (your clients).

Learn what it takes to be a symphonic leader by reading the entire article at http://www.breakfreeconsulting.com/newsletters/200710-new_leadership.htm.

Back To School

Recently I published my latest newsletter....

Yes, it's that time of year again. Whether you have children or not, I'm sure that you will in some way be affected by the back to school crowds. The roads will be more crowded. You'll have the flashing lights that make you drive slower through the school zones. You may have to run the kids around to different extracurricular activities in the evenings. There is a lot going on at first, but then we should all fall back into the familiar routine.

So, my question today is: The kids are back in school. Are you?

Ray Kroc once asked it this way: Are you green and growing or ripe and rotting?

Go to http://www.breakfreeconsulting.com/newsletters/200709-backtoschool.htm to read more!!

You are NOT what you think

The August 2007 issue of Breaking Free was just released today...

You are NOT what you think.

• Does it sound like an incomplete sentence?

• Is your first reaction to be offended? (Who does she think she is telling me that!)

• Is your first thought to say "Thank goodness"! I'd hate to be what I think.)

• Are you simply asking "Who cares?"

In last month's newsletter, we talked about consensus and said that studies show that 95% of our population cannot separate their ideas from their self worth. We said that many folks think that if you don't like their IDEA, you don't like them.

In this newsletter, we're going to explore that a little further by having you look at

1. what you think and
2. how you react when someone challenges what you think.

To read more, go to http://www.breakfreeconsulting.com/newsletters/200708-whatyouthink.htm.

Lessons I learned from neighborhood kick ball games

Ok, today I was reflecting on my past a bit and remembering the "good ol' days" (which, of course, at the time weren't always that good).

I started thinking about the days when we'd pay kick ball in the empty lot next to our house...

All the kids in the neighborhood would come over after school and we'd have a terrific game of kick ball. Sure, there were some kids who didn't want to participate in the actual kicking of the ball but only wanted to be the "artificial" pitcher. {Yes, that would be "official" pitcher, meaning they'd roll the ball to home for both teams, but "artificial" and "official" really sounded familiar and could be confusing to pre-teens.}

So here are a few lessons that came to mind...

• It really doesn't matter when you were picked for a team, all that mattered was that you choose to get in the line to be picked. I can't tell you the names of everyone who played kick ball in my neighborhood. There were a lot of us. I can sort of remember who got picked first and who got picked last, but that isn't my lasting memory of our games. What really mattered is that we played. We were outside running around, enjoying the competition.
• That gets me to another lesson... Yes, believe it or not, back in the "good ol' days" one team actually won the game and the other team lost. We didn't hand out trophies to all participants. The winners got to go home knowing that they won and the losers went home strategizing about how they could do better next time. It was good to learn how to win AND learn how to lose!
• It's ok (and even fun) to get hurt, get dirty and get sweaty... even for us girls. There is nothing wrong with exerting physical effort. Hard work can be fun AND fun can be hard work! Sometimes it seems like our culture has made both of these phrases out to be bad words. For some people, their work is their life and everything is so serious. For others, they only show up to their job so that they get a paycheck and can go out and have fun! Why does hard work and fun have to be mutually exclusive? We should all have a lot of both in our lives.
• Many times when we had a lot of people playing we would resort to kicking a lot of ground balls so that the fielders wouldn't catch it from the air and get us out quickly. We would make them pick up the ball and try to 'peg' us with it before we got to first base. Some times, you could pick on a bad fielding opponent all game and just score runs one base at-a-time. But, you have to go for the home run every now and again! I learned that to keep doing what you are successful at doing is only part of the key to success. Every now and then you have to test yourself and try to kick the ball as far as you can. It's the only way to see if you can kick a homerun across to the other side of the street and into the neighbor's yard. (It was also challenging to see if the fielders could get it out of the yard before he came out and yelled at us.) ;)

So, there you have it for today:

• It really doesn't matter when you were picked for a team, all that mattered was that you choose to get in the line to be picked.
• It was good to learn how to win AND learn how to lose!
• Hard work can be fun AND fun can be hard work!
• You have to go for the home run every now and again!

I don't know if these same lessons are taught in today's video games, iTunes, or cell phones but they should be.

Ohhh, one more very important lesson: When it's time to come home to eat dinner with your family and your mom screams your name out of the back door, you should run home quickly before she has to scream your first AND middle name out to the entire neighborhood.

Better Team Work through Consensus

Today I released my latest newsletter to help you get more cooperation and productivity from your team by building consensus. (This doesn't mean everyone has to agree, but that everyone gets a 'say' and their ideas are heard.)

To learn more, go to http://www.breakfreeconsulting.com/newsletters/consensus.htm.

Boosting Self Confidence

• Have you ever tried to help someone be more self-confident?
• Have you ever tried to lift their spirits when they've not performed well?
• Did it work?

Many times we see our friends and coworkers struggling through tough times. Occasionally these tough times are caused by unimaginable external circumstances (like the death of a loved one). Other times, they are caused by external circumstances that seem surmountable but for the person going through it may appear insurmountable.

How can we help?

Axiology, the study of human value judgments, can give us insight into self-confidence and self-esteem. In my blog entry from February 21, 2007, I talked about the 3 classes of value:

• Intrinsic: Intrinsic value objects are unique, priceless, and irreplaceable. They can be valued an infinite number of ways.
• Extrinsic: Extrinsic value objects exist in the common, public, sensory world of space and time that we share with others. Extrinsic value objects can be compared and contrasted with other extrinsic value objects. They have a finite set of properties and are practical or situational.
• Systemic: Systemic values do not exist in public space and time. They are not physical and perceptible things; they exist only as mental concepts constructed by our minds. They can be defined with absolute precision and every instance of them is flawless. For example, a "circle" that deviates slightly from being "a closed curved line with no thickness at all, every point of which is equally distant from its center" is not really a circle. These values do not have as many properties as extrinsic values and are completely conceptual and theoretical.

When our friends struggle with their self-confidence, we usually try to boost theirs in the way we like ours to be boosted. If their self-confidence is challenged in a way that your self-confidence is usually challenged, then your words of encouragement might work. If not, then your words will fall on "deaf ears."

Here's why... In the 6 Advisors metaphor that we use to talk about axiology, your Self-Esteem "advisor" is usually the area of our internal dialogue (what we say to ourselves) that is challenged when we talk about self-confidence. However, while the Self-Esteem advisor is intrinsic in nature, it has intrinsic, extrinsic and systemic subdimensions. Let me explain...

If you take the free 6 Advisors Introductory Assessment and go to the tab for Self-Esteem in your results, you will see a graph (even if it doesn't have any explanation along with it.) The graph will look something like this...

As you can see the main challenges with this client's thought processes regarding self-esteem are in the top and bottom bars of the graph. These are the intrinsic measurements or subdimensions within their Intrinsic internal dialogue. The thoughts that this person has about himself focus on his shortcomings as a person - an irreplaceable, unique, invaluable human being.

If you try to encourage this person by focusing on his intrinsic nature, your words may be overridden by his internal dialogue - these thought processes that tell him the opposite of what you're saying. He may not trust what you're saying to him. (Even if it is the 'truth'.)

However, if you focus on his extrinsic nature (represented by the 2nd and 5th bars on the graph), he may have a better chance of hearing and believing you. These bars show that his self-esteem advisor has a balanced capacity when it comes to seeing himself as a 'doer'.

When we look at this next example, we see that this person's self-esteem is challenged along the 3rd and 4th bars of the graph. These bars represent the systemic nature of how she sees herself.

This person's internal dialogue or thoughts about her ideas are challenged. If you say to her, "Wow, your idea is terrific!" Her response to you might be, "Oh, anyone could have thought of that." In effect, her self-esteem advisor may loudly (in her mind) disagree with what you said.

A person can have any combination of these within their thoughts about themselves. Understanding the different levels of value (intrinsic, extrinsic and systemic) can help you better connect with the folks you are trying to help.

The first step is finding out a little bit more about how YOU think! Click the link below to get started. If you review your results and are interested in more information, don't hesitate to give me a call. You can find my contact information on my website.

Getting it done with Power Sessions

Today I released my latest newsletter...

If you have ever run out of hours in the day before you have completed your list of tasks, this issue of Breaking Free is for you. Learn and practice Power Sessions to be more effective and accomplish more in your day!

Go to the June issue of Breaking Free: Get It Done with Power Sessions.

Plug into Power Sessions TODAY!

Let Your Ideas Go

Recently, I have been aware of how often I defend my ideas. It's weird because it happens at times when I wasn't even sure I had an idea that I needed to defend. See if you can relate to this...

I'm driving through my subdivision when up ahead a lady pulls out into my lane. Now, I had plenty of time to slow down and it wasn't even close to being an accident. But, she pulled out into MY lane!! Being the mature adult that I am, what do you think I did? Of course, I gave her a little toot. How dare she see ME coming down the road and still decide to pull out in front of me! Didn't she know that I was in a hurry and going some place VERY important? She probably cost me about 0.5 seconds by having me take my foot off of the gas pedal (slightly).

It's so weird that my brain thought that it was 'wrong' for her to pull out onto the road. I mean, she probably pays her taxes and paid just as much for the road as I did. So, why do our brains think that such things shouldn't happen? Why do we allow our brain to hold on to expectations that are not realistic? I guess the real question is: Why don't I take control and put a stop to it?

Studies suggest that 95% of the population cannot separate their ideas from their self-worth. Can you see how my self-worth was threatened by my thoughts above? Somehow this lady, who doesn't even know me, offended me and she doesn't even know it.

Take a look at some of the recent events in your life that have caused you angst. Were they caused by your own ideas about what 'should' happen or how it 'should' be or what you thought was 'right' or 'wrong' with an idea?

It's obvious that my brain thinks I should be able to drive to my destination without interference from any other drivers or obstructions. Wow. When I look at it realistically, what are the chances of that ever happening?

What if...

• What if you could release your ideas and not have to defend them?
• What if you just let them go so that other ideas could mix in with them? (Isn't that usually how we come up with the 'best' idea?)

Let your ideas go. They are not you. You are you!

When you let your ideas go, you are free and your ideas are free. If you continue to hold on to them, they are captive to you and you are captive to them.

Think about it... do you find yourself always needing to be right? Do you use words like 'always', 'I guarantee', 'Obviously'? If so, you may be captive to your ideas and your ideas may be captive to you.

Let your ideas go! You will see tremendous things happen when you do. Your ideas will grow and more importantly so will you!

If you need help with this, please let me know. The 6 Advisors coaching program is terrific at getting you to understand your thoughts and be in control of them. I'd love to talk to you about it.

Give the free assessment on the right a try! If you find that your Systems Thinking advisor or your Self-Direction advisor is the most challenged, you may be holding on to your ideas too tightly. I can help!

6 Advisors Conference

WOW!

It's been 2 weeks since I returned from our 6 Advisors Coaching Conference and what a wonderful 2 weeks it has been. I guess that's what happens when you find yourself even more excited than you were before.

For those of you who personally know me, you know I am truly passionate about helping others reach their success. I deeply believe what Zig Ziglar once wrote, "You can have everything in life you want, if you will just help other people get what they want.”

This year's 6 Advisors conference helped me to refresh my learning about the 6 Advisors Assessment as well as demonstrated some of the exciting new products and services that we will have available.

One of the most exciting is the updated "Managing Your 6 Advisors" practicum. Version 3.0 is better than ever. If you haven't experienced this coaching practicum in the past, now is the time to give it a try. I know I'm going through version 3.0 even though I've been through version 2.0 three times. I learn something new and valuable every time.

Since the conference was over 2 weeks ago, I have done more assessments and signed up more coaching clients than I did in the previous month. I certainly hope the month continues like this because I am seeing more and more people advance in their careers, their businesses and their lives. It is so rewarding to me.

Here's one of the latest testimonials from a client who recently completed the 14 session practicum:

"This was one of the greatest things I have ever done. This taught me to take time to make time. I loved my coach - what a great listener and insightful person! This whole process has been great and very eye opening. I never thought that putting a few comments in order could tell me so much about why I think what I think, and then learning how to harness ALL of my Advisors for my benefit. Thanks again!"

If you are interested in results like this, please give me a call or visit my website for more information.

Here are the products and services that I offer from 6 Advisors:

• Assessment and consultation: This is the reason I found 6 Advisors. This assessment is one that you just can't fool. It is terrific! It told me about thoughts that I knew I had but was consciously not reacting or responding to. I ranked 18 items and it was able to know how I thought - that was incredibly valuable to me and has been to so many of my clients.
• Coaching: This is the 14 session practicum that changed my life. I am constantly learning and realizing new things about me and how I relate to my clients, family and friends.
• Candidate Assessments: Wouldn't it be great to understand which candidate will be best for your open positions? Once you know HOW they think, you can ask better questions during the 2nd interview and better assess their fit into your organization.
• 360 Evaluations (NEW): You know, how I said that I had thoughts in my head that I was consciously not acting upon. Well, that is what I thought. This process would help me to know if it was really true. It uses the 6 Advisors assessment to help you understand how your thoughts are affecting your performance by having your co-workers, supervisors, friends, peers, and subordinates provide their perception of you.
• Workshops and Boot Camps: These sessions allow for you and your team to experience the 6 Advisors practicum which is laser-focused on your needs and objectives. The focus is based about the assessment results of the workshop participants.
• Business Barometer Reports: This report measures the "pressure points" in your organization and helps us to design workshops and coaching programs around your strengths and weaknesses which will allow you to reach your goals and achieve the vision that you have for your organization.

In future entries, I'll talk a little more about axiology, neuroscience, mindsets and how these impact your work and your life. Thanks for reading my shameless plug. :)

You really can have better balance in your life and it all starts with your mind. When you master your mind, you will master your future.

Until next time...

Love Loving

So far, I've talked about "Start Starting" and "Stop Stopping". Today, I want to cut to the chase and talk about how to continue on the process.

Love Loving

What's the one thing that gets in the way for most of us. Other people? Your friends, family, boss? How about circumstances? Of all the reasons you may come up with, I believe the one that most people will agree with is FEAR.

I've done a lot of thinking about fear and what it has done in my life. I've feared success, failure, embarrassment, humiliation. Sometimes, I don't even try because of what might happen. Now, the statistical chances associated with "might" are sometimes about 0.01%, but it still might happen. What's funny is that there are 2 definitions of might:

1. auxiliary verb: used to express possibility, probability, opportunity or contingency.
2. noun: physical strength, capacity, power to attain and accomplish

I think as I look at my internal conversations (you know, those thoughts that bounce around my head), I use might as an auxiliary verb in most of them. What would happen if I started focusing on the noun... the power. Could my might overcome my fear?

Many people think courage is the opposite of fear. I believe that it is LOVE. Where there is LOVE, their is faith and where there is love and faith, there can be no fear.

• What would happen if we loved loving?
• What if every time we thought of what might happen, we changed our thoughts and focused on what our might could make happen?

It all comes down to our choices. These determine our actions.

• What would happen if we decided to choose LOVE over FEAR? What could you accomplish today if you decided to love 'cold calling' (or some other task you've been dreading)?
• Or, better, yet... what if you simply loved the people on the other end of the line (regardless of their response to you)?

Our values determine our choices. We always choose what we value the most at the current moment. What are your choices saying about your values? Is loving at the top of your list?

Learn to value and love loving. You will see your life turn-around and move toward your goals in a powerful way.

• Start Starting
• Stop Stopping
• Love Loving

If you'd like to know how to do this - how to change your thoughts so that YOU can value what is most valuable to you and overcome the habits that you've created - give me a call or drop me an email. I have a wonderful tool that can identify your hierarchy of values as well as a coaching program that can get your habits in line with your values. If you'd like to try a taste test of the tool, go to my website or click the link to the right. Do it today!

Stop Stopping

Have you ever made the same decision more than once?

Are you confused by the question? Let me explain what I mean by that.

For example, you decide that you are going to do something this weekend... let's say that it's go to a seminar. You wake up Saturday - the day of the seminar - and you make another decision (instead of just sticking with the first decision) and decide NOT to go to the seminar. Then, you shower and get dressed and then re-decide that maybe you should go to the seminar. So, you grab a quick breakfast, brush your teeth and notice that the weather is nice, so maybe you won't go to the seminar.

Does this process sound familiar to you? In this example we have made a decision about something 4 times! We did not receive any new data pertaining to the original decision. We just kept making, unmaking and remaking our decision. How can you avoid this quandary, the stress, the wasted time of re-deciding our decisions? Well, stop stopping!

Every time you move onto something, you stop and reassess your feelings. "I don't feel like ________ ." When you made the decision to ________ , you had data at the time that told you that it was a good decision to make. Then, you allowed your moods and feelings to interfere with that decision.

In scroll 6 of Og Mandino's book, The Greatest Salesman in the World, he says:

It is one of nature's tricks, little understood, that each day I awaken with moods that have changed from yesterday. Yesterday's joy will become today's sadness; yet today's sadness will grow into tomorrow's joy. Inside me is a wheel, constantly turning from sadness to joy, from exultation to depression from happiness to melancholy. Like the flowers, today's full bloom of joy will fade and wither into despondency, yet I will remember that as today's dead flower carries the seed of tomorrow's bloom so, too, does today's sadness carry the seed of tomorrow's joy.

If you allow your moods to make your decisions, you will not be focused on the dreams and goals that you set for yourself. Instead, you will focus on the wheel of constantly changing moods and emotions.

When you decide to use your thoughts to control your emotions, you will STOP STOPPING. You will decide to make the decision once and you will immediately notice that it relieves some of the stress in your life.

If we go back to our example, what changed between getting out of bed and getting out of the shower. Only our mood - there was no new data that we acquired while in the shower that would make us change our mind. We must master our thoughts so that we can stop stopping at every change in our mood. As Og puts it...

Today I will be master of my emotions.

And how will I master my emotions so that every day is a happy day, and a productive one? I will learn this secret of the ages: Weak is he who permits his thoughts to control his actions; strong is he who forces his actions to control his thoughts.

Once you make the decision and it's a decision that you made based on information and data that was sound, trustworthy, complete and accurate - stick with that decision. So many times we let our mood keep us from the very thing that we needed to do that day to get closer to success. STOP STOPPING!

Today I will be the master of my emotions. Henceforth I will recognize and identify the mystery of moods in all mankind, and in me. From this moment I am prepared to control whatever personality awakes in me each day. I will master my moods through positive action and when I master my moods I will control my destiny.

• What is it that you consistently talk yourself out of based on your mood?
• What is it that you are missing because you STOP after you've already made the decision to GO?
• Can you imagine what your life would be like if you didn't keep making, unmaking and remaking your decisions?

For the upcoming week, give this a try:

1. Gather the data needed to make your decisions.
2. Make your decisions on the actions that you will take.
3. Stick to that decision unless you receive compelling NEW DATA about your decision.
4. Avoid factoring your moods and emotions into your decisions.

I believe that you will immediately notice a lower level of stress in your life. You will feel like you are empowered because YOU are in control and not your emotions. You will notice that you get so much more accomplished in relation to the goals that you have set for yourself.

Stopping to reassess a situation based on your mood or emotions is a dangerous habit. Break it by replacing it with a new habit. Start Starting and Keep On Keeping On.

Go on, give it a try! I know I'm going to.

Start Starting

Ok, you're probably not going to believe this, but, yes, even I suffer from procrastination. That's a real NEWS FLASH, isn't it?

Og Mandino starts out Scroll IX (9) of his book "The Greatest Salesman in the World" by stating:

My dreams are worthless, my plans are dust, my goals are impossible. All are of no value unless they are followed by action.

We all know that nothing gets done unless someone actually does something. Thinking about it doesn't make it so. Talking about it doesn't make it so. Planning out every single detail doesn't make it so. Or as Og puts it:

Never has there been a map however carefully executed to detail and scale which carried its owner over even one inch of ground. Never has there been a parchment of law however fair which prevented one crime.

So why is it that we know what we 'should' do, but don't do it. I think there are many, many reasons (ok, excuses) that we use from time to time. Which ones are your favorites?

• I need to think it over some more.
• It just doesn't feel like the right time.
• I'm planning right now and will get to that later.
• I still have to learn more before I'm able to get going on that.
• I'm tired.
• It's probably not worth it any way.

I'm sure you can think of many more. What does it all boil down to? Instead of trying to think of the words on my own, I'll let Og tell you (again from Scroll 9)...

My procrastination which has held me back was born of fear and now I recognize this secret mined from the depths of all courageous hearts. Now I know that to conquer fear I must always act without hesitation and the flutters in my heart will vanish. Now I know that action reduces the lion of terror to an ant of equanimity.

Procrastination is just the manifestation of your fears. The good news is that your fears are just a manifestation of your thoughts. You have control over the thoughts that you choose to think and dwell upon. If you, the CEO and Chairman of the Board of your mind, choose to think the thoughts that hold you back, you are choosing to procrastinate and live in the fear that is in your mind.

You have another choice! You can choose to think the opposite of the thought that is causing your fear. That's one good thing that I learned from Sesame Street... opposites. Ernie and Bert would teach me "hot / cold", and "big / small". Now I have added to that "fear" / "love".

I watched a show on TV about the Mohawk Indian Ironworkers - those awe-inspiring people who build skyscrapers. It was amazing!! The TV program showed how they would climb up the beams of bridges to the top of the structure and then jump between the supports just for fun.

Check out these pictures:

Do you want to know how these guys can do this and overcome their fear of heights? Here's what Kyle Karonhiaktatie Beauvais(Mohawk, Kahnawake) said:

A lot of people think Mohawks aren’t afraid of heights; that’s not true. We have as much fear as the next guy. The difference is that we deal with it better. We also have the experience of the old timers to follow and the responsibility to lead the younger guys. There’s pride in walking iron.

Dare I say, they love what they do! There is tremendous pride and honor in what they do. That love helps them overcome their fears. As Kyle said, they aren't without fear, they just handle it better. Those thoughts of fear exist, but they don't dwell on them. They focus on the love they have for what they do and what they build, not what could happen if they fail. Here's what I am going to try going forward. Maybe you could try these too...

1. Conquer my thoughts of fear and focus on what I love about taking the action.
2. Take the action because... Action cures fear!
3. I will remember this quote from Og's scroll:

Only action determines my value in the market place and to multiply my value I will multiply my actions. I will walk where the failure fears to walk. I will work when the failure seeks rest. I will talk when the failure remains silent. I will call on ten who can buy my goods while the failure makes grand plans to call on one. I will say it is done before the failure says it is too late. I will act now. For now is all I have.

To find out more about the thoughts and fears that may be holding you back, click on the Free Assessment link below.

If you'd like a copy of Og's book, The Greatest Salesman in the World, click this link:

Stress and "Happily Ever After"

We hear so much these days about how stress is destroying people's lives... their physical health, their mental health, their relationships, their careers. People 'burn-out' all the time (whether they'd like to admit it or not.) Many times they just want to quit... get out of the rat race... go to a far, far away island where they can live happily ever after.

Where is this land of "Happily Ever After"?

The sad truth is that it exists only in our imagination.

So, where does all this stress in your life come from? I have a suggestion... it comes from one central location... your imagination.

Ok, ok, I can hear you screaming at me already...

• IS IT MY IMAGINATION THAT MY BOSS IS A JACK*$$ or EXPECTS SO MUCH FROM ME?
• IS IT MY IMAGINATION THAT MY TEAM WON'T FOLLOW MY LEAD or HAS PEOPLE ON IT THAT DON'T DO WHAT THEY SAY THEY'RE GOING TO DO?
• IS IT MY IMAGINATION THAT MY BUSINESS IS NOT GROWING or I CAN'T FIND THE RIGHT PEOPLE FOR THE JOB?
• IS IT MY IMAGINATION THAT I'M OVERWEIGHT/UNDERWEIGHT?
• IS IT MY IMAGINATION THAT MY SPOUSE IS A LOSER?
• IS IT MY IMAGINATION ( fill in the blank )?

No, no. That's not what I'm saying. Please let me continue before you get all riled up.

In this world, we are placed under a lot of expectations. Here are just a few:

• We're expected to work longer, harder, smarter, faster.
• We're expected to be passionate, caring, thoughtful, gracious with are friends, co-workers and partners.
• We're expected to 'give back' to our communities, to deserving charities and other good causes.
• We're expected to be successful, to make a lot of money, to have a lot of friends, to be up-to-date on all the latest news.
• We're expected to be healthy, "normal" weight, in good physical condition.

Where do these expectations come from and why do we live under them?

I propose that you get out from under the expectations of the world!!

I'm not saying to discard your goals and dreams. Quite the contrary, I believe that you should focus on YOUR goals and dreams, on what YOU aspire to become and not put so much emphasis on what "THEY" say.

Here are some thoughts...

• What if you were able to realize that your stress was coming from your own mind and its acceptance of the measures of other people?
• What if you could decide on your own measurement for YOUR success?

Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "No one can make your feel inferior without your permission."

In fact, no one can make you feel any emotion without your permission. No one can make you feel stress without your permission!!

How can that be? Well, it seems that most stress comes from cognitive dissonance. Ok, that's just a fancy expression for the difference between where you currently are and where you think you should be. Here's the best part... YOU control where YOU think YOU should be. You may decide, consciously or unconsciously, to relinquish that control to your boss, your partner, your kids, your parents, or even the collective "they" (whom I still have yet to meet). But the decision and the control is yours and yours alone.

So, if you decide to cling to the expectation that your life should be lived in the "Happily Ever After", you should realize that you will probably miss out on the "Pretty Terrific Now". You see, when you learn to focus on today and learn to use your gifts, your talents, your uniqueness to make YOUR dreams and goals come true, you will find that you already have what it takes to get to where you want to be.

It's amazing how your stress can be reduced when you focus on the "Now" instead of the "could've", "should've", "would've" and the "ought to", "must", "have to" that the world of "Happily Ever After" places you.

Spend some time thinking about YOU and your "Pretty Terrific Now". You can be the master of your thoughts, the master of your imagination and choose to use it for YOUR good instead of 'evil'. :)

Crabs in a Basket

• Have you ever noticed that the critics don't criticize the people 'beneath' them?
• Have you ever noticed anyone trying to knock someone UP onto a pedestal?
• Do you ever hear anyone saying 'it's crowded at the top'?

I must confess that there were times in my life that I did everything to avoid criticism. I guess you could call me a people-pleaser. I mean, who really wants someone to be upset with them, right?

But our society is all about levels and some people believe that if someone is above them they should try to knock them down. There is another alternative... they could strive to rise up and join them.

I once heard a story that is said to be an old African adage. It goes something like this...

Do you know how to keep a crab in a basket without putting the lid on?

It's simple... put 2 or more crabs in the basket. Once one starts to climb above the other, the lower crab will reach up and pull the rising crab back down.

Now, you don't see crabs displaying this behavior when they are on the beach on the open sand. They only exhibit this behavior when they see one rising above the other. I read an article at AuthorsDen.com in which some people said that it isn't the CRAB'S fault - it's the BASKET'S fault. If the basket had been a flat, unimposing structure, the crabs would never try to defeat each other. One even went on to say, “Keep looking to the top of the basket in order to get out or better yet, we shouldn’t even get into the same basket in the first place.”

Ok, that's an interesting approach. As an athlete, I loved to get into a basket where the players were better than me. I believed that they could help me get better. It appears, however, that some folks see the challenge of multiple crabs in a basket as an unnecessary evil. I mean, wouldn't it be nice if we could all isolate ourselves in our own little baskets. (I think not.) I guess it's a lot easier not to try than to try and fail... that it's a lot easier to stay out of the crowded basket than to realize that someone may have worked longer, harder and smarter to get to the top before you.

So, I have a few questions for you...

• Do you ever find yourself being a crab at the bottom of the basket?
• Do you ever root for someone's failure whom you may think is 'above' you in the basket?
• Does your mind tell you that if someone is at the top, they must've cheated to get there?
• Do your thoughts tell you that those at the top of the basket are probably miserable and alone?
• Do you ever blame circumstances for your location in the basket?
• Do you find that you avoid attempts to climb out of the basket to avoid the criticism of others?

All of those thoughts are very dangerous and will keep you from RISING above.

Let me ask you a question: what's the best way to cross a minefield?

The answer: follow in the footsteps of someone who has already done it. I say that NOT to discourage you from finding your own way. Instead, I say that to encourage you to embrace those who have gone before you, those who have risen to where you want to be. As you follow in their footsteps you will soon develop your own confidence... the confidence you need to then chart your own course and rise above the criticism of the crabs below.

Don't let your thoughts fall to the bottom of the basket. Rise up and choose to think thoughts that support your success. We have enough negativity in this world and it seems very easy for our minds to go there.

Today, choose to look at those crabs in the basket above you and encourage them to show you the path to the top. Instead of being threatened by their success, you will become a part of it.

Procrastination

Today, I have been procrastinating. Yes, I admit it. Have you ever done that? Probably not, but just in case, let's talk about it. ;-)

• How often do you know you should do something but just don't?
• Do you have things that you should be doing but instead you fill your time with meaningless or mindless tasks? (Like today, I deleted some files and defragmented my hard drive instead of making phone calls and setting up appointments.)

In my coaching business, I find that quite a few (ok, all of my clients) have suffered from this deadly disease at one time or another. Why did I say "deadly"? Well, procrastination kills... it kills time. More importantly, it kills YOUR time. That's something that you can never get back.

As Og Mandino says in Scroll V of his extraordinary book "The Greatest Salesman in the World":

I will live this day as if it is my last. I have but one life and life is naught but a measurement of time. When I waste one I destroy the other. If I waste today I destroy the last page of my life. Therefore, each hour of this day will I cherish for it can never return. It cannot be banked today to be withdrawn on the morrow for who can trap the wind?

So, how do we overcome this disease of procrastination? Well, I told you Og's book is extraordinary. Let's take a look at Scrolls IX and V (respectively):

I will act now. My procrastination which has held me back was born of fear and now I recognize this secret mined from the depths of all courageous hearts. Now I know that to conquer fear I must always act without hesitation and the flutters in my heart will vanish. Now I know that action reduces the lion of terror to an ant of equanimity.

I will avoid with fury the killers of time. Procrastination I will destroy with action; doubt I will bury under faith; fear I will dismember with confidence. Where there are idle mouths I will listen not; where there are idle hands I will linger not; where there are idle bodies I will visit not. Henceforth I know that to court idleness is to steal food clothing, and warmth from those I love. I am not a thief. I am a man of love and today is my last chance to prove my love and my greatness. I will live this day as if it is my last.

So, as I write this today. I'm not just writing for you. I'm writing to remind myself that the time I spent procrastinating today was time that I chose to live in fear. All I had to do was chose a different focus in my mind. I could've chosen to focus on action - action cures fear!

I'm betting that tomorrow will be a better day for me. Again I will borrow Og's words:

I will act now. Success will not wait. If I delay she will become betrothed to another and lost to me forever. This is the time. This is the place.

I will live this day as if it is my last. And if it is my last it will be my greatest monument. This day I will make the best day of my life. This day I will drink every minute to its full. I will savor its taste and give thanks. I will maketh every hour count and each minute I will trade only for something of value. I will labor harder than ever before and push my muscles until they cry for relief, and then I will continue. I will make more calls than ever before. I will sell more goods than ever before. I will earn more gold than ever before. Each minute of today will be more fruitful than hours of yesterday. My last must be my best.

I will live this day as if it is my last. And if it is not, I shall fall to my knees and give thanks.

I hope that you make the most of today and are blessed with an even better tomorrow.

If you'd like a copy of Og's book, click this link:

Team-work OR Team-play?

Which buzz words are the most over-hyped in business?

Is it leadership? Empowerment? Synergy? Strategic? How about teamwork?

Today I'm going to pick on teamwork. When I looked up the word "team" in the dictionary, here is some of what I found...

1. A group on the same side, as in a game.
2. A group organized to work together: a team of engineers.
3. A brood or flock.
4. Two or more draft animals used to pull a vehicle or farm implement. - A vehicle along with the animal or animals harnessed to it. - A group of animals exhibited or performing together, as horses at an equestrian show.
5. Synonyms: combine, unite, ally, merge.

The word team traces back to thousands of years and literally means "that which draws or pulls".

So, then I looked up "work" and here's what I found...

1. exertion or effort directed to produce or accomplish something; labor; toil.
2. to act or operate effectively: The pump will not work. The plan works.
3. Synonyms: drudgery, labor, toil

It appears to me as if the word "work" isn't needed after "team". A "team" by definition is a group of individuals working together to achieve something.

Mayabe that's why people don't say "It's the power of the teamwork", right? They simply say it's about "the power of the team".

So, who added the "work" onto the end of the word? I think it was someone trying to make up their own buzzword so that they could make money. ;)

When I think of the successful teams that I've been on, it never really seemed like work to me. I was just playing my part. Even when there was a lot of pressure, if I was a) playing on the right team and b) playing the right part, the stress wasn't as great as just one of those things being out of whack.

Work has a negative connotation in our society these days. You've probably heard the saying "If it was supposed to be fun, they wouldn't call it work." So why has someone added the word "work" onto the word "team".

I propose that starting today, you delete the buzzword "teamwork" from your vocabulary. Whether you are a business owner, executive, project manager, director... regardless of your leadership role, look at yourself as a "coach". It is you privilege to get your team to play together to achieve their goal.

I also propose that you look at these two questions:

As a leader, what kind of players do you have on your team?

• Are they in the right role?
• Are they even on the right team?

What kind of environment are you setting for your team?

• Is it one of "teamwork"?
• Is it one of "teamplay"?

Play: v act or have an effect in a specified way or with a specific effect or outcome; to perform, participate or act; cause to move or operate freely within a bounded space.

The word "play" comes from plega which means "recreation, exercise, any brisk activity". Doesn't that sound much better than "labor, toil, and drudgery"?

I encourage you to take a look at your roles. Are they more like drudgery and labor? Or, are they more like recreation and exercise?

Focus on TEAM PLAY, instead of teamwork. It's easy to do and you are in complete control of doing it - you don't even need your team to accomplish this. Focusing is about YOU and your thoughts. Choose your thoughts and practice replacing teamwork with team play.

You should notice that your stress is eased a bit just by the thought of team play. When you truly believe that your success is dependent more on team play than team work, you will start to create a less stressful environment for your team. When your team feels less stress, they will play better.

"Work" can be fun if you take time to focus on the "play" aspect of performing your tasks. As a leader, you "set the stage" for your team play.

Choose Your Focus carefully

We have all heard that we should focus on the positive... have a positive mental attitude... keep our eyes on the prize. So, what does all that stuff really mean?

Today I want to talk about moving forward. Many times in life we get stuck in a certain spot. I propose that it's because we are not focused on thoughts that will keep us moving forward.

• How often do you spend time focusing on past failures?
• How often do you focus on the problems?
• Do you think about the drama of your daily situations?
• Do you ever get stuck in the details?

Let's take a look at the 5 "floors" or levels of our focus:

1st floor: Drama

This is the floor that we usually walk in on (if we don't consciously choose to go to the stairs or the elevator). Drama is the place where we talk about the peripheral stories and occurrences in life. We'll hear stories about blunders, mishaps, and other 'tragedies'. These discussions usually contain a great deal of negative emotion including disgust, despair and possibly even grieving about missed opportunities or failed attempts.

2nd floor: Dilemmas

As we take the stairs to the next level, we find dilemmas. Here the focus is on the issues, challenges and problems that impede progress. Emotions associated with this area are usually disempowering, frustration and disappointment. We are focused more on what is wrong with the situation than with what is right.

3rd floor: Details

As we ascend to the Details 'floor', we notice that the focus is now on doing the activities that must take place on our journey. Most people are very comfortable here because its a practical place. You get to focus on your specific tasks. There is usually low emotion at this level because we're usually doing something that is familiar to us.

4th floor: Design

Up one more level is the Design floor. This is where the planning takes place. This is where we craft the path to get to our dreams, aspirations, and goals. This is the 'thinking' before the 'doing' of the details. There may be some heated discussions at this stage, but it is good to get all the ideas out on the table so that the best path forward is selected. Emotions attached to this phase can be excitement and anticipation.

5th floor: Dream

Finally we get to the top floor where the focus is on the Dream... the "big" picture, the collective vision. From this vantage point we can see possibility and purpose. Our focus is on our aspirations and our goals usually accompanied with the positive emotions of motivation and inspiration.

As leaders, let's ask ourselves a couple of questions?

• On which floor does most of my thinking take place?
• On which floor does most of my conversations occur?

Statistics have shown that over 85% of the conversations take place on the 1st through 3rd floors. These are conversations that deal with the minutia, the challenges, and the anecdotal parts of life. While these conversations are interesting, they are not all that useful to moving forward.

I mean, many people can't resist the gossip of the entertainment world. (Is Brittany Spears still in rehab? Has her hair grown back yet?) While that is interesting, it really isn't all that useful to your life.

Take a look at the last conversation you had with your spouse, your co-worker, your child, your friend, your boss. On which 'floor' were you focusing?

• Were you taking the high road and focusing on your shared dreams or designs?
• Were you focused on the lower roads of the details, the dilemmas and the drama?

Most of the focus on the lower floors is actually focus on things that you DON'T want. Focusing on what you don't want actually reinforces those thought processes and takes you closer to what you don't want.

Look at it this way... have you ever noticed that when you decide to buy a new car that you see that make and model of car everywhere on the road? Is it just because everyone else had your idea as well? No. It's because your mind has a filter. It can't possibly process every single thing that you see every single day. It would quickly be overloaded. When you decide to get a new car, your brain removes the filter for that car and you are then able to notice it everywhere you look. Your brain works that same way with all of the other things you focus on.

What you choose to focus on, you will see!

DREAMS DESIGN Details Dilemmas Drama

(I'm trying to practice what I preach and not say "Don't focus on the DILEMMAS and DRAMA." Because that would be focusing you on what I don't want you to focus on, which actually makes you focus on it.) ;)

Let me conclude by offering you this advice...

If you're a leader - project manager, parent, pastor, executive, business owner, trainer, educator, etc.:

• Be conscious of your focus!!
• Look closely at your focus when talking with your team.
• Choose to keep most of your conversations at the DREAMS and DESIGN levels. Your team will naturally take care of the DETAILS.

All the best!!

So you think you've failed? (Part 2)

Ok, last time we borrowed a story from the Bible to talk a little about the fear of failure by giving you an example of a real mess-up by Abraham. Today, we're going to look at another story from the Bible about David.

This time we will go to 2 Samuel. Here is our main character David:

One evening David got up from his bed and walked around on the roof of the palace. From the roof he saw a woman bathing. The woman was very beautiful, and David sent someone to find out about her. The man said, "Isn't this Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam and the wife of Uriah the Hittite?" Then David sent messengers to get her. She came to him, and he slept with her. (She had purified herself from her uncleanness.) Then she went back home. The woman conceived and sent word to David, saying, "I am pregnant." (2 Samuel 11:2-5)

Oh dear, we have a little problem here. So much for that "Thou shalt not commit adultery" command, huh? It turns out that David slept with Uriah's wife and got her pregnant. That could be considered a failure on a couple of points, right? But, that's not all! As we read on, we find out that Uriah is a soldier in David's army and is off fighting in a war. So, there is no possibility that Bathsheba's baby could be Uriah's child.

Then, David has an idea... if he could bring Uriah back to town for a night and send him home to his wife, Uriah would surely have relations with Bathsheba and then David would be off the hook. Brilliant! One teeny, tiny problem... Uriah did come to town but he didn't spend the night with his wife.

When David was told, "Uriah did not go home," he asked him, "Haven't you just come from a distance? Why didn't you go home?" Uriah said to David, "The ark and Israel and Judah are staying in tents, and my master Joab and my lord's men are camped in the open fields. How could I go to my house to eat and drink and lie with my wife? As surely as you live, I will not do such a thing!" Then David said to him, "Stay here one more day, and tomorrow I will send you back." So Uriah remained in Jerusalem that day and the next. At David's invitation, he ate and drank with him, and David made him drunk. But in the evening Uriah went out to sleep on his mat among his master's servants; he did not go home. (2 Samuel 11:10-13)

Ok, just what David needed an honorable soldier in his army. So Uriah didn't do what David had hoped that he'd do. Uriah, being the dedicated soldier that he was, was not going to enjoy the pleasures of home while his comrades were out in the field. So, David had to come up with yet another brilliant idea. He decided to get Uriah all liquored-up so that in his drunkenness he would stumble home and possibly then, Uriah wouldn't know if he had slept with his wife or not. But, David was foiled again! Now what was he going to do? Bathsheba was still pregnant and it couldn't be her husband's child. David had one more plan up his sleeve... (desperate times call for desperate measures, right?)

In the morning David wrote a letter to Joab and sent it with Uriah. In it he wrote, "Put Uriah in the front line where the fighting is fiercest. Then withdraw from him so he will be struck down and die." So while Joab had the city under siege, he put Uriah at a place where he knew the strongest defenders were. When the men of the city came out and fought against Joab, some of the men in David's army fell; moreover, Uriah the Hittite died. (2 Samuel 11:14-17)

Did you catch that? David had Uriah carry a note back to his commander that told the commander to make sure the Uriah died in the next battle. Now there's a picture of audacity for you.

So, it happened as David so ordered and then...

When Uriah's wife heard that her husband was dead, she mourned for him. After the time of mourning was over, David had her brought to his house, and she became his wife and bore him a son. But the thing David had done displeased the LORD. (2 Samuel 11:26-27)

It seems as though David got what he wanted even if he made God mad, right? Well, as the story progresses, we find out that Bathsheba and David's son dies because the Lord was 'displeased'. However, David and Bathsheba did have another son, Solomon, whom God blessed beyond measure. Many experts will tell you that Solomon was the richest and wisest man to ever live on this earth.

As for David... well, in Acts 13:22, God describes David by saying, 'I have found David son of Jesse a man after my own heart; he will do everything I want him to do.' Isn't that the ultimate compliment?! David was a man after God's own heart.

Does that seem at all weird to you? God actually blesses a man who committed adultery? Yep, that's what it says.

So, what can we learn from this story?

1. Even the best intentioned people fail sometimes - and fail BIG. This is nothing that we should be afraid of. David failed often (just like Abraham in the previous blog entry), but he never gave up.
2. Failure is not final and can be overcome. David continued to learn and grow and do his very best to serve. He was truly sorry for his mistakes and did his best to make up for them.
3. What do you have to worry about anyway? It's not like your failure is going to be published in the Bible! So, you live with it for a few days, weeks, years. Look, David's failures are timelessly recorded in the #1 best seller of all of eternity. (And you were worried about what your boss said in that email. ;)

Sometimes our very best isn't good enough in the world's eyes, but it's really all that we have to offer at that time. When you act with pure intentions, it may not always turn out as you expected but you will always have your integrity and you will have strengthened your mind, your heart, your body and your soul.

I want to encourage you to look your fear of failure directly in the eye and realize that it's just one of the thoughts that is in your mind. You can choose at any time to think another thought - try it!

Instead of fearing possible failure, what would you dare to accomplish if you knew you couldn't fail? Go on, give it a try. I promise that if you mess up, it won't be as bad as you imagined AND it won't be published in the Bible for all to see.

(All Bible quotes are from the New International Version.)

So you think you've failed? (Part 1)

As I coach, I am blessed to have the opportunity to connect with people in a deep and meaningful way. I have talked with CEOs, moms, VPs, pastors, business owners, sales professionals, and consultants. One thing that is frequently appears throughout the conversations is the fear of failure.

So, today I wanted to share a story with you. Many of you may recognize it because it is well over 2000 years old. I am hoping that I can give you a new perspective that puts it in a little different light. It's a story from the Bible about a man named Abram.

Here's how it goes from Genesis 12:1-4 of the Bible...

The LORD had said to Abram, "Leave your country, your people and your father's household and go to the land I will show you. "I will make you into a great nation and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse; and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you." So Abram left, as the LORD had told him; and Lot went with him. Abram was seventy-five years old when he set out from Haran.

Ok, now here we have our protagonist, Abram, who was asked by God to go somewhere. God didn't give him directions, He just said that He would show Abram the way. WOW! How trusting of Abram to just pick up everything and go!

So what did Abram do? Let's read a few more verses... (Gen 12:10-16)

Now there was a famine in the land, and Abram went down to Egypt to live there for a while because the famine was severe. As he was about to enter Egypt, he said to his wife Sarai, "I know what a beautiful woman you are. When the Egyptians see you, they will say, 'This is his wife.' Then they will kill me but will let you live. Say you are my sister, so that I will be treated well for your sake and my life will be spared because of you."

When Abram came to Egypt, the Egyptians saw that she was a very beautiful woman. And when Pharaoh's officials saw her, they praised her to Pharaoh, and she was taken into his palace. He treated Abram well for her sake, and Abram acquired sheep and cattle, male and female donkeys, menservants and maidservants, and camels.

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!?! Abram ran into a little trouble (ok, a famine) and then brokered a deal with his WIFE. He thought they, the Egyptians, would kill him to take his wife, so Abram basically SOLD HIS WIFE to the Pharoah for lots and lots of things. Today we'd call him the lowest of pimps, right?

I mean, he did get all kinds of good stuff for her... today it would've been MP3 players, SUVs, mansions with maids and butlers, HDTV with DVR as well as ca$h - just terrific stuff. I mean, terrific if you don't mind putting a price on your wife.

So then what happened? (Gen 12:17-20)

But the LORD inflicted serious diseases on Pharaoh and his household because of Abram's wife Sarai. So Pharaoh summoned Abram. "What have you done to me?" he said. "Why didn't you tell me she was your wife? Why did you say, 'She is my sister,' so that I took her to be my wife? Now then, here is your wife. Take her and go!" Then Pharaoh gave orders about Abram to his men, and they sent him on his way, with his wife and everything he had.

So God punished the Pharoah because Abram lied to him! Is that whacked? In today's world, we'd look at Abram and call him a real swindler.

In Abram's own eyes, he was a total failure. Here was a good man making a BIG mistake. But, God knew he was trying to do his very best and so Abram (Abraham) was rewarded anyway.

You may think that is the end of the story, but it's not. Look what Abraham did in Genesis 20:1-3.

Now Abraham moved on from there into the region of the Negev and lived between Kadesh and Shur. For a while he stayed in Gerar, and there Abraham said of his wife Sarah, "She is my sister." Then Abimelech king of Gerar sent for Sarah and took her. But God came to Abimelech in a dream one night and said to him, "You are as good as dead because of the woman you have taken; she is a married woman."

Yes, you read that correctly! Abraham (formerly known as Abram) told the king that his wife was his sister. His excuse (see if this sounds familiar):

And Abimelech asked Abraham, "What was your reason for doing this?" Abraham replied, "I said to myself, 'There is surely no fear of God in this place, and they will kill me because of my wife.'

And what happened to Abraham?

Then Abimelech brought sheep and cattle and male and female slaves and gave them to Abraham, and he returned Sarah his wife to him. And Abimelech said, "My land is before you; live wherever you like." To Sarah he said, "I am giving your brother a thousand shekels of silver. This is to cover the offense against you before all who are with you; you are completely vindicated."

So, while Abraham was truly trying to do his best, he sold off his wife TWICE! In exchange for his wife, he received lots of cool stuff. And, even when his beautiful wife was returned to him, he still got to keep all the cool stuff AND more.

My message to you today isn't a religious one. There are 2 points to it:

1. Don't be afraid to follow your heart - even if you're not quite sure where it leads you. God kept his promise to Abraham even though Abraham messed up a few times. Gen 12:2 "I will make you into a great nation and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing." Gen 22:17-18 "I will surely bless you and make your descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as the sand on the seashore. Your descendants will take possession of the cities of their enemies, and through your offspring all nations on earth will be blessed, because you have obeyed me."
2. In all that you do, do it with integrity, honesty and always give it your best. That doesn't mean that you won't fail - we all do. What it means is that your failure can still be rewarding to you. Abraham's failures were rewarding to him. Now, I'm not suggesting that you try to sell off your spouse - although some of you may think that is a good idea at times. ;) Be true to you - your heart and your soul - and no matter what circumstances may appear, you will not be a failure.

Come on, go do that thing today that you have been fearing. Do it with the best intentions. You can cure your fear of failure by taking action today!

Map vs. GPS

Ok, I realize that the stereotypical man doesn’t like to ask for directions, but I know quite a few who are great with maps (especially refolding them). But now with the advent of the GPS (global positioning system), the stereotypical man is finally off the hook. If he owns one, he doesn't have to read a map or stop and ask for directions. What a terrific invention!!!
Alright, I hope you guys out there know that I'm only joking with you. But the GPS is truly a terrific invention. I was thinking... what if we could create GPS-like systems for the rest of our life.
Wouldn't it be great to have a GPS for our

• relationships?
• careers?
• spiritual lives?
• business development?
• finances?
• raising children?

Have you tried self-help courses or books or seminars to help you with any of the above? I have. They often provide terrific MAPS to get you to their 'promised land.' I have tried so many of them and they have great tips and techniques that have proven useful over my career. However, they forget to put the little "YOU ARE HERE" mark on their map and I usually end up wondering around trying to find the right road that will get me to the next road on the map. Do you ever feel like that?
Then in 2005, I found the GPS of self-help and personal development. (I know you may be thinking that I'm off my rocker, but bear with me on this and I'll share my story.)

_________________________________________________

My Story
In 2004, my company had the senior management team attend a leadership seminar. Before we attended we had to take this weird assessment (which turned out to be the Hartman Value Profile-HVP). I am always skeptical of these assessments because I can manipulate them to say what I think my bosses want them to say.
But this one was very different, I just couldn't figure out "the catch". I mean, it asked me to rank items according to their value and the items were wacky. Here's a partial list:

• a uniform
• "With this ring, I thee wed."
• a short circuit
• Blow up an airliner in flight
• Burn a heretic at the stake
• a devoted scientist

I mean, the instructions were clear, but for some reason - because I wanted to 'figure it out' - I had a hard time with this. Finally, I gave in and just ranked them without trying to think of manipulating the assessment.
Now the rest of the seminar was a little 'out there'... literally. One of the speakers talked about the 6th dimension and extraterrestrials. But the assessment process stuck with me.
I started to research the HVP and found that it was based in the science of axiology that I discussed in my last blog entry. Science!! Now that is practical stuff that I can really delve into. (Yes, I have been called a geek before, so you won't be the first.)
I then found a company called 6 Advisors on the internet and they melded axiology with my favorite self-help book, The Greatest Salesman in the World by Og Mandino. It seemed to be a match made in heaven for me on the surface. Then, I took their HVP and received their interpretation of it. I was amazed that the assessment was able to measure HOW I THINK. I mean, really... some of the thoughts that I have, I consciously don't act upon. You probably have these kinds of thoughts too. This profile was able to know about those thoughts... the very core of my beliefs, emotions, choices, behaviors and actions.
Finally, a tool that could figure out where I was starting from... "YOU ARE HERE."