Thursday, September 15, 2011

Improving Communication - Part 2

September 2011

Last month we talked about communication and the interference that we often have from our own thoughts and internal dialogue.  We talked about this from the receiver’s point of view. Often times as the receiver of a communication, we aren’t really listening to the speaker or sender.  Our brains actually think faster than most humans can speak. When this happens your brain may try to fill in the void with its own thoughts which distracts you from listening and staying present.  If you remember from last month’s newsletter, we said that while others talk sometimes our minds think a number of things like:
  1. “They are wrong.”  “They are stupid.”  “What an idiot.”
  2. “I know.”  “I don’t need to keep listening.”
  3. “Ooh, ooh, I have something important to say (so I’m interrupting you).”  “If I just say this...”
These types of thoughts keep you from connecting to the sender so you don’t completely hear their message.
But as the sender, you can also have thoughts going through your mind that are keeping YOU from sending the message properly.
  1. If you are thinking… “I need to impress them.” or “What if I mess up?” what may happen to your message?

    Sometimes you hear thoughts that cause you to pretend or try to impress people. You mind is focusing you on YOU rather than on connecting. Let me ask you a question… are you able to tell when people are trying to impress you or when they aren’t really present? Most people can figure this out pretty easily. When someone is trying to impress you, are you listening to their message? Sometimes we are caught up in wondering why this person isn’t being real. Our mind goes off and starts analyzing why the person is behaving this way. When that happens, you aren’t hearing the message.  In order to make sure you are sending the message properly, you must be real and you must be present. You must focus on the receiver, not you - the sender.