tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325308002024-03-05T10:43:21.799-06:00Path to Successful ThinkingTracihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16014028884150521711noreply@blogger.comBlogger99125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32530800.post-46818551372080818052011-11-09T13:19:00.001-06:002011-12-13T13:22:05.228-06:00Being Thankful<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: 13px;"><span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="color: #1e6daa;"><b></b></span></span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11px;"><span style="color: #07144e;">November 2011</span></span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
I wanted to take a unique
perspective on being thankful this Thanksgiving. (Sorry, I'm a month
late for my Canadian friends.) Last November I talked about active
thankfulness and giving thanks TO others (people) not just being
thankful for things.</div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
When most folks think of being
thankful it's usually for the "positive" things in their life. I just
visited a website at www.thankfulfor.com where folks post what they are
thankful for. Here are a few examples of what I read:</div>
<ul>
<li>Fridays!</li>
<li>My mother and the fact that she tells me she loves me every day.</li>
<li>My awesome hair and all the compliments I get on it!</li>
<li>94 on my strategic management test</li>
<li>My family and good friends</li>
<li>Financial security</li>
<li>Skype</li>
<li>My health</li>
<li>My kids sleeping in their own beds</li>
</ul>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
There are thousands and thousands
more, but you get the picture. I am also thankful for many of the things
listed above but this year I'm also thankful for the not-so-positive
things. I'm thankful for:</div>
<ul>
<li>Having low self-esteem and self-confidence most of my life</li>
<li>Having no money and taking 20 years to payoff my student loans</li>
<li>Being bullied and teased as a dorky, cry-baby, jock growing up in a small town</li>
<li>Failing and dropping Calculus III twice in college</li>
</ul>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
I'm thankful for...</div>
<ul>
<li>Being diagnosed with melanoma when I was 17 years old</li>
<li>Lying to a dear friend and having her never speak to me again</li>
<li>Crying in the CFO's office (my boss) when he criticized my decisions and actions</li>
<li>Not telling someone I loved them before it was too late.</li>
</ul>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
These may seem like odd things to
be thankful for but it's not comfort and peace that create growth.
Discomfort and challenges trigger GROWTH.</div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
I'm thankful for these things
because I now know that crying in your boss's office, being bullied and
teased, and being under massive debt may be painful but they are not
fatal.</div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt; text-align: right;">
<a href="http://www.breakfreeconsulting.com/newsletters/165-201111-thankful" target="_blank">Read more... </a></div>Tracihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16014028884150521711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32530800.post-71482491246547561492011-10-13T13:16:00.001-05:002011-12-13T13:22:32.182-06:00Engage AND Inform<div style="margin: 0; padding: 0;">
<span style="font-size: 13px;"><span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="color: #1e6daa;"></span></span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0; padding: 0;">
<span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11px;"><span style="color: #07144e;">October 2011</span></span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0; padding: 0;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0; padding: 0;">
In
a recent poll that asked "What is the single most important question
you have about leadership", "How can I improve my communication?"
received 34% of the votes. (The runner-up received 20%.)</div>
<div style="margin: 0; padding: 0;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0; padding: 0;">
So,
we've been discussing communication and how to improve our skills in
this area. One area where many fall short is in engaging others BEFORE
they try to inform. Most meetings start off with the obligatory and
brief niceties. Then, they proceed right into the data dump... metrics
for this, numbers for that, status for this, issues with that... blah,
blah, blah. A whole lot of information... but who really cares?</div>
<div style="margin: 0; padding: 0;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0; padding: 0;">
<span style="color: #1e6daa;">Telling facts touches MINDS (informs).</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0; padding: 0;">
<span style="color: #0a9103;">Telling purposeful stories touches <span style="color: #d90036;">HEARTS </span>(engages).</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0; padding: 0;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0; padding: 0;">
The greatest value and motivation comes from touching hearts!</div>
<div style="margin: 0; padding: 0;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0; padding: 0;">
In axiology I often talk about the hierarchy of value.</div>
<div style="margin: 0; padding: 0;">
<br /></div>
<table border="1" cellpadding="2" style="table-layout: fixed; width: 96%; word-wrap: break-word;">
<tbody>
<tr>
<th scope="col"><span style="color: #185893;">Value</span></th><th scope="col"><span style="color: #185893;">Dimension</span></th><th colspan="4" scope="col"><span style="color: #185893;">Metaphors</span></th>
</tr>
<tr>
<td style="color: black; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 11px;"><span style="color: #d90036;">Highest</span></td>
<td style="color: black; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 11px;">Intrinsic</td>
<td style="color: black; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 11px;">Spirit</td>
<td style="color: black; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 11px;">Heart</td>
<td style="color: black; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 11px;">People</td>
<td style="color: black; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 11px;">Be</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td style="color: black; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 11px;"><span style="color: blue;">Mid</span></td>
<td style="color: black; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 11px;">Extrinsic</td>
<td style="color: black; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 11px;">Body</td>
<td style="color: black; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 11px;">Hands</td>
<td style="color: black; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 11px;">Products</td>
<td style="color: black; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 11px;">Do</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td style="color: black; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 11px;"><span style="color: #0a9103;">Lowest</span></td>
<td style="color: black; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 11px;">Systemic</td>
<td style="color: black; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 11px;">Mind</td>
<td style="color: black; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 11px;">Head</td>
<td style="color: black; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 11px;">Policy</td>
<td style="color: black; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 11px;">Have</td>
</tr>
</tbody>
</table>
<div style="margin: 0; padding: 0;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0; padding: 0;">
Often
we are so focused on the Mid and Lowest classes of value that we
neglect the most valuable one. Many times, in fact, we devalue the
highest class of value.</div>
<div style="margin: 0; padding: 0;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0; padding: 0;">
As
I speak to audiences of leaders, I talk about the intrinsic, the people
part of leadership. They understand that leadership involves people but
often they just want the 'people' to be human <i>doings </i>instead of human beings.</div>
<div style="margin: 0; padding: 0;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0; padding: 0;">
I
talk about taking the time to get to know the human being. In this
newsletter, I'll discuss telling stories and many of you will hear a
thought like this in your head: <i>"I don't have time for that." "They
should just do their jobs." "I shouldn't have to motivate them."
"They're getting a paycheck."</i></div>
<div style="margin: 0; padding: 0;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0; padding: 0;">
If human beings were just <span style="color: blue;">heads </span>and <span style="color: blue;">hands </span>without <span style="color: #d90036;">hearts</span>, those statements above might work for you. As you know, human beings are much more than that.</div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt; text-align: right;">
<a href="http://www.breakfreeconsulting.com/newsletter-signup/163-201110-engage" target="_blank">Read more... </a></div>Tracihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16014028884150521711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32530800.post-12962861320612268222011-09-15T13:14:00.002-05:002011-12-13T13:22:46.993-06:00Improving Communication - Part 2<span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11px;"><span style="color: #07144e;">September 2011</span></span></span><br />
<br />
Last month we
talked about communication and the interference that we often have from
our own thoughts and internal dialogue. We talked about this from the
receiver’s point of view. Often times as the receiver of a
communication, we aren’t really listening to the speaker or sender. Our
brains actually think faster than most humans can speak. When this
happens your brain may try to fill in the void with its own thoughts
which distracts you from listening and staying present. If you remember
from last month’s newsletter, we said that while others talk sometimes
our minds think a number of things like:<br />
<ol>
<li style="margin-top: 6px;">“They are wrong.” “They are stupid.” “What an idiot.”</li>
<li style="margin-top: 6px;">“I know.” “I don’t need to keep listening.”</li>
<li style="margin-top: 6px;">“Ooh, ooh, I have something important to say (so I’m interrupting you).” “If I just say this...”</li>
</ol>
These types of thoughts keep you from connecting to the sender so you don’t completely hear their message.<br />
But as the sender, you can also have thoughts going through your mind that are keeping YOU from sending the message properly.<br />
<ol>
<li>If you are thinking…<span style="color: #0a9103;"> <b>“I need to impress them.” or “What if I mess up?”</b></span> what may happen to your message?<br /> <br />
Sometimes you hear thoughts that cause you to pretend or try to impress
people. You mind is focusing you on YOU rather than on connecting. Let
me ask you a question… are you able to tell when people are trying to
impress you or when they aren’t really present? Most people can figure
this out pretty easily. When someone is trying to impress you, are you
listening to their message? Sometimes we are caught up in wondering why
this person isn’t being real. Our mind goes off and starts analyzing why
the person is behaving this way. When that happens, you aren’t hearing
the message. <span style="text-decoration: underline;"> In order to make sure you are sending the message properly, you must be real and you must be present.</span> You must focus on the receiver, not you - the sender.</li>
</ol>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<a href="http://www.breakfreeconsulting.com/newsletter-signup/161-201109-communication" target="_blank">Read more... </a></div>Tracihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16014028884150521711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32530800.post-13964679543678169452011-08-21T08:15:00.000-05:002011-08-21T08:15:12.594-05:00Improving Communication<span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11px;"><span style="color: #07144e;">August 2011</span></span></span>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0; padding: 0;">
Last month I asked a question on LinkedIn: <span style="color: #1e6daa;"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><strong>“What's the single most important question you have about increasing your leadership?”</strong></span></span> I proposed a few answers and asked you to pick what you thought was most important. <a href="http://polls.linkedin.com/vote/141129/zakcq" style="color: #cc00cc !important;" target="_blank">http://polls.linkedin.com/vote/141129/zakcq</a></div>
<div style="margin: 0; padding: 0;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0; padding: 0;">
The results are in and out of 211 responses, here are the results:</div>
<div style="margin: 0; padding: 0;">
<a href="http://www.breakfreeconsulting.com/breakfreeconsulting/newsletter/images/poll2011results.JPG" style="color: #cc00cc !important;" target="_blank"><img src="http://www.breakfreeconsulting.com/breakfreeconsulting/newsletter/images/poll2011results.JPG" style="border: 0px solid transparent; margin: 0px;" width="100%" /></a></div>
<div style="margin: 0; padding: 0;">
<em><span style="font-size: 10px;">(Click the image to view larger online.)</span></em></div>
<div style="margin: 0; padding: 0;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0; padding: 0;">
As you can see <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><span style="color: #0f6b01;"><strong>communication</strong></span></span><span style="color: #0f6b01;"><strong> </strong></span>seems to be a big concern for leaders so I’d like to talk about it in this newsletter edition.</div>
<div style="margin: 0; padding: 0;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0; padding: 0;">
What gets in the way of your communication? Do you believe that it is lack of <span style="text-decoration: underline;">skills and tools</span>
of the folks in the conversation? Could it be that people just don’t
listen? Is it that most people are just opinionated and selfish? Is it
that everyone has their own agenda and goals? What gets in the way?</div>
<div style="margin: 0; padding: 0;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0; padding: 0;">
Let’s start with what communication is. Well, the dictionary says that it means <em>to give or impart thoughts, feelings and information</em>.
It comes from the root word of ‘common’. It originally meant to share.
However, I think a lot of times, when we say communicate we want it to
mean to “make people listen to and hear us”. What many fail to realize
is that before we can share or give or impart, there must be a willing
receiver…<span style="font-size: small;"> <span><span style="color: #185893;"><strong>a connection</strong></span></span>.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0; padding: 0;">
<br /></div>
Many people skip the very first step of communication which is a connection between the parties. Think about the telephone…<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<a href="http://www.breakfreeconsulting.com/newsletters/160-201108-communication"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;">Read more... </span></a></div>
Tracihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16014028884150521711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32530800.post-64188541797409952282011-07-21T08:10:00.001-05:002011-08-21T08:15:53.232-05:00Let's Change Things Up<span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11px;"><span style="color: #07144e;">July 2011</span></span></span>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0; padding: 0;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0; padding: 0;">
<img align="right" height="142" src="http://www.breakfreeconsulting.com/breakfreeconsulting/newsletter/images/backwards-clock.jpg" style="border: 0px solid transparent; float: right; height: 142px; margin: 0px; width: 142px;" width="142" />For this month’s newsletter, I thought I’d change it up a little… and talk about, well, <i>changing it up a little</i>.
I’m a big proponent of change - specifically change that produces
growth and adds value. However, the human brain likes patterns and
repetition. It takes less energy to follow a habit than it does to
change things up a little.</div>
<div style="margin: 0; padding: 0;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0; padding: 0;">
So, here are a few thoughts on changing it up a bit that may help get you started.</div>
<div style="margin: 0; padding: 0;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0; padding: 0;">
<span style="color: blue;"><b>#1 STOP asking people “How are you?”</b></span> Oh, but you may ask, “<span style="color: #666666;"><i>Traci, you’re always telling us to care about people. How can you say that?</i></span>” My thought is that if you really cared about people, you’d <span style="text-decoration: underline;">ask them a different question</span>…
one that shows you are actually thinking about THEM! “How are you?” is a
no-brainer and doesn’t involve thinking about or caring about people.
It’s a rote question that you can throw out often anywhere to anyone.</div>
<div style="margin: 0; padding: 0;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0; padding: 0;">
<span style="color: blue;"><b>#2 Switch things up a bit.</b></span> Ask unusual, unique questions! As Og Mandino says in his book “The Greatest Salesman in the World”:</div>
<div style="margin: 0; padding: 0;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: georgia,serif;"><span style="color: #11b802;">Since
the beginning of time never has there been another with my mind my
heart my eyes, my ears, my hands, my hair, my mouth. None that came
before, none that live today, and none that come tomorrow can walk and
talk and move and think exactly like me. All men are my brothers yet I
am different from each. I am a unique creature.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt; text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: 11px;"><span style="font-family: georgia,serif;"><span style="color: #11b802;"><a href="http://www.breakfreeconsulting.com/newsletters/159-201107-change" style="color: blue;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;">Read more... </span></a></span></span></span></div>
Tracihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16014028884150521711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32530800.post-27482396818096202242011-06-16T08:08:00.001-05:002011-08-21T08:15:41.087-05:00What do you want to be when you grow up?<span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11px;"><span style="color: #07144e;">June 2011</span></span></span>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0; padding: 0;">
<br /></div>
<div>
Seems like a simple question, right? Millions of graduates are
being asked that question during this graduation season. (Most of them
by their parents who want to be sure that they're moving out of the
house and paying their own bills. :) )<br />
<br />
<img align="left" src="http://www.breakfreeconsulting.com/breakfreeconsulting/newsletter/images/direction.jpg" style="border: 1px solid #000000; float: left; margin: 6px;" />I speak to thousands of "grown-up" people every year and many of <b>them </b>don't
know what they want to be when they grow up. Do you find it odd that
we expect a 17 or 18 year old to know the answer as they graduate from
high school?<br />
<br />
The belief or expectation that this is a simple question to answer can often get in the way of actually answering it.<span style="color: blue;"><b> It’s not a simple question!</b></span><br />
<br />
As I think about the question from my past (What did I want to be when I
grew up?) I realize that I'd have to ask my parents and friends from
back then because I really don't remember. I know in high school I
wanted to coach sports. But then again, I thought I was pretty smart so
maybe I should go pre-med in college. That made a lot of sense because
those 2 professions are so similar...<b> not!</b> One
difference that became abundantly clear to me is that as a college
basketball coach I would get to pick my players and work with people I
had hand-selected ... as a doctor, I wouldn't get to pick my patients.
I also remember from before high school that one thing I was <span style="color: #ff0040;"><b>NEVER</b></span>
going to be was a public speaker. I turned down the nomination to be
the President of the National Honor Society and instead became Vice
President because as the President, I would have been required to give a
speech. <i><span style="color: #ff0040;">Horrifying!! </span></i><br />
<br />
Part of the problem with answering this question is the question itself. <span style="color: blue;"><span style="text-decoration: underline;">The "what" and the "be" don't match up! </span></span>The "what" is extrinsic... a thing, tangible, measurable. The "be" is intrinsic... immeasurable, ever-changing, ever-growing. <br />
<br />
We really should be asking:</div>
<ol style="margin-left: -10px;">
<li style="margin-bottom: 10px;"> <span style="color: #1e6daa;"><b>What </b></span>do you want to <span style="color: #1e6daa;"><b>do</b></span>? AND</li>
<li> <span style="color: #11b802;"><b>Who </b></span>do you want to <span style="color: #11b802;"><b>become</b></span>?</li>
</ol>
<div>
These questions are more easily answered.</div>
<div>
</div>
So, <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><i>WHAT do you want to DO?</i></span>
Do you want to do something technical, something creative, something
inspirational, something meaningful? What would that look like in your
life? “I like to work with my hands.” “I like to work with people.” “I
like to do accounting.”<br />
<br />
Now, I believe the more important questions are... <span style="text-decoration: underline;">WHO do you want to BE?</span><b> </b>or <span style="text-decoration: underline;">Who do you want to become?</span> I've heard some people say "I want to become a multi-millionaire." "I want to become a teacher." "I want to become a CEO."<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.breakfreeconsulting.com/breakfreeconsulting/newsletter/images/Boy-in-large-suit-sm.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img align="right" border="0" height="222" src="http://www.breakfreeconsulting.com/breakfreeconsulting/newsletter/images/Boy-in-large-suit-sm.jpg" style="border: 0px solid transparent; height: 222px; margin-top: 0px; width: 125px;" width="125" /></a>If these are in line with your thoughts, will you allow me to share another perspective with you?<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.breakfreeconsulting.com/newsletters/158-201106-growingup">Read more... </a></span></div>
Tracihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16014028884150521711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32530800.post-53628314267009301042011-06-05T11:38:00.004-05:002011-06-05T11:38:00.164-05:00Activate a Better Brain<a href="http://www.kqzyfj.com/click-4889221-10685731" onmouseout="window.status=' ';return true;" onmouseover="window.status='http://www.lumosity.com';return true;" target="_top">
<img alt="Brain Games" border="0" height="250" src="http://www.tqlkg.com/image-4889221-10685731" width="300" /></a>Tracihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16014028884150521711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32530800.post-15879598914858794252011-05-16T08:04:00.005-05:002011-08-21T08:13:21.644-05:00Leading & Motivating<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="color: #07144e;"><span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;">May 2011</span></span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;">Motivation is the desire to do. It is an interest or drive to stimulate action.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;">Homer Rice once said, <span style="color: #c704c7;"><i>"You
can motivate by fear. And you can motivate by reward. But both of these
methods are only temporary. The only lasting thing is self-motivation."</i></span></span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;">As
a leader, what is your most common form of motivation? Do you use fear?
The fear method usually relies on the rules. Do you use the carrot
principle? Do you dangle rewards out in front of others and hope that
they'll bite?</span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;">There
are many tips and techniques out there to enhance these types of
motivational styles... or as those being 'motivated' tend to refer to
them... <i>manipulation </i>styles.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;">As I've mentioned previously, Daniel Pink authored a book last year called "<span style="text-decoration: underline;">Drive - The Surprising Truth about What Motivates Us</span>".
He discusses different types of motivation that align perfectly with
the 3 classes of axiological value that I often discuss. Those classes
of value are, in order of their objective value:</span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<table border="1" style="table-layout: fixed; word-wrap: break-word;">
<tbody>
<tr>
<td style="color: black; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<span style="color: #11b802; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>Intrinsic</b></span></span></div>
</td>
<td style="color: black; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;">Highest in value</span></span></div>
</td>
<td style="color: black; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;">infinite</span></span></div>
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td style="color: black; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<span style="color: #1e6daa; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>Extrinsic</b></span></span></div>
</td>
<td style="color: black; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;">Mid range of value</span></span></div>
</td>
<td style="color: black; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;">finite</span></span></div>
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td style="color: black; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span style="color: #ff0040; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>Systemic</b></span></span></td>
<td style="color: black; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;">Lowest in value</span></span></div>
</td>
<td style="color: black; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;">binary</span></span></div>
</td>
</tr>
</tbody>
</table>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;">Mr. Pink discusses what he calls "<span style="color: #ff0040;">Motivation 1.0</span>".
This is the old command and control. This type of motivation is old
school... So old school that it was around before there were schools.
Under Motivation 1.0 (systemic motivation), mankind was trying to
survive. Systemic deals with either/or... either you survived or you
didn't. The leaders were those who survived. They were the strongest and
used their power to command and order the others to work together to
survive.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;">As
we formed more complex societies and evolved, so did our motivation. We
now needed to cooperate with one another to get the things we needed.
At the core of this new and improved form of motivation was a revised
and more accurate assumption: "Humans are more than the sum of our
biological urges. Now the first drive to survive still exists, but it
didn't fully account for who we were." We knew how to survive and it
didn't consume all of our time. We now wanted more (extrinsic stuff)
than just survival.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="color: #1e6daa;">Motivation 2.0</span> (extrinsic motivation) was born. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span><br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.breakfreeconsulting.com/newsletter-signup/156-201105-motivation">Read more... </a></span></span></div>
Tracihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16014028884150521711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32530800.post-29784459457150610972011-05-05T11:22:00.002-05:002011-05-05T11:22:57.214-05:00Train Your Brain<a href="http://www.tkqlhce.com/click-4889221-10685736" onmouseout="window.status=' ';return true;" onmouseover="window.status='http://www.lumosity.com';return true;" target="_top">
<img alt="Brain Games" border="0" height="250" src="http://www.awltovhc.com/image-4889221-10685736" width="300" /></a>Tracihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16014028884150521711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32530800.post-43997928208834569872011-04-15T11:34:00.001-05:002011-05-05T11:36:19.663-05:00Dealing with Conflict<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: 11px;"><span style="color: #07144e;"><span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;">April 2011</span></span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;">Why
does conflict happen? There are many reasons, but I want to point out
the neurological reason. In the past, you've heard me talk about the <strong><span style="color: #1e6daa;">amygdala</span></strong>.
It is the part of the brain that is wired to instantaneously recognize
errors and threats. So, when conversations turn from the expected to the
unexpected, our biological response is one of flying fists or fleet
feet when what is really needed is </span></span></span><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;">gentle attentiveness and</span></span></span><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;"> intelligent persuasion.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;">When the amygdala is hijacked by an <em>apparent </em>threat, adrenaline is pumped into your blood stream. Your brain diverts blood from activities that are deemed <em>non-essential</em>
to the high-priority task of protecting yourself (like hitting or
running). The large muscles in your arms, back and legs get more blood
and <span style="text-decoration: underline;">your brain gets less</span>!!
As a result, you are facing your conflict with the same cognitive
resources as a prehistoric primate. Is it any wonder that we struggle in
this area?</span></span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;">What
can you do when this happens? One thing you can do is recognize that
the apparent threat isn't an imminent danger to your physical
well-being. It's just a SPAN (something perceived as negative.)</span></span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;"><img src="http://www.breakfreeconsulting.com/breakfreeconsulting/newsletter/images/span-1.jpg" style="border: 0px solid transparent; margin: 0px;" /></span></span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;">Many
people waste a lot of time and energy trying to change and control
everything around them. Our society's abundance of technology and wealth
creates the illusion that we can control just about everything. Many
discover that this control is an illusion and become overwhelmed by the
unpredictability of events. This is seen as a SPAN and a threat. Some
falsely assume that because they can't control the world around them
that they can't control their own lives. They get the "whatever"
attitude. Others fight on and on trying to grab the illusion of control.
In any case, the amygdala will recognize this as a threat. </span></span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;">Try
to remember that you are in control of your responses. Sure, you might
not be able to control your physiological reactions, but you can
recognize them as just a biological reaction to an illusion. It's simply
a SPAN, a gap. It's a gap between your expectation and reality. It can
be a SPAN between your perception and someone else's perception. In any
case, it's not really a threat! Your brain has mis-perceived the
situation. (Note: If you are feeling threatened during a conflict,
there is probably at least one other person feeling threatened as well:
the person on the other side of the SPAN.)</span></span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;">So, what can you do about it? How can you deal with this conflict?</span></span></span></div>
<ol>
<li> <span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;">Realize that if your amygdala is hijacked, someone else's may also be hijacked. <strong>Give them the benefit of the doubt!</strong> They are NOT your enemy. They, in fact, are another infinitely valuable human being just like you.</span></span></span> </li>
<li> <span style="font-size: 12px;"><span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;"><strong>Ask, don't assume!</strong>
What you think you understand about what someone says, how someone
looks at you, what someone means by what they do, etc., may often not
reflect reality at all, and more often than not lead you down a path
that contains more mistrust and relationship-destroying behaviors.</span></span> </li>
</ol>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<a href="http://www.breakfreeconsulting.com/newsletters/155-201104-conflict">Read more...</a></div>Tracihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16014028884150521711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32530800.post-84464343422308286042011-03-15T11:29:00.004-05:002011-05-05T11:31:42.969-05:00Maximizing Your Leadership<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms,helvetica,sans-serif;"><strong><span style="color: #07144e;"><span style="font-size: 17px;">Maximizing Your Leadership</span></span></strong></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: 11px;"><span style="color: #07144e;"><span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;">March 2011</span></span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;">Today
we'll be talking about leadership again. I hope that is a topic that
you don't mind learning more about. If you are interested in other
topics as well... at the end of this newsletter is a link to a SHORT
survey that will help me serve you better with upcoming newsletters. I
hope you'll take a few minutes to complete it. </span></span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;">Now, let's get back to leadership...</span></span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12px;"><span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;">Leaders
(real leaders) have been studied for hundreds of years. Researchers
have studied attributes, characteristics, attitudes, behaviors,
personalities, intelligence, and values. What have we learned? That
every leader is unique and that the truly great leaders aren’t afraid of
being unique. We’ve also learned that while personality traits,
attitudes, behavior and intelligence patterns have been identified; the
key to great leadership can’t be defined by these things only.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<span style="color: #185893;"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;">The
key to great leadership is in your thinking, your mindset, your valuing
habits and most importantly - how you apply these things.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12px;"><span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;">Great
leaders are maximizers and multipliers. Their thinking and valuing
habits reflect their perspective – not only on the job but how they live
their lives.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12px;"><span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;">“Managers”,
while trying to maximize and multiply, often have mindsets that may
actually result in diminishing or minimizing. This doesn’t happen
intentionally but is usually a learned behavior or habit.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12px;"><span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;">NOTE:
When I say “manager”, my intention is whose focus is on the tasks and
getting the work done. This isn’t your title but rather your role.
This isn’t who you are, but rather what you do. When I talk about a
“leader”, this person is focused on leading the people who are doing the
work. My hope is that you have both manager and leader
characteristics, but that you learn to focus more on the leadership
side.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12px;"><span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;">Let me give you some examples of what I mean here. </span></span></div>
<ol>
<li>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<span style="color: #185893;"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;"><strong>Maximizers do more asking. </strong></span></span></span><br /><span style="color: #ff0040;"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;"><strong>Minimizers do more telling</strong>. </span></span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12px;"><span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;">Great leaders believe in the people they are working with. Maximizers see intelligence as <strong>continually growing</strong>
and developing within their team. They assume people are smart and can
and will figure things out. They see their organization as full of
talented people who are capable of contributing at much higher levels.
Diminishers see intelligence as something basic about a person that
can’t change much. When this is the case, the Diminisher believes that
they have to tell their team what to do and how to do it. Do you find
yourself doing more asking or telling in your leadership roles?<br /><br /><img height="65" src="http://www.breakfreeconsulting.com/breakfreeconsulting/newsletter/images/transform.jpg" style="height: 65px; width: 252px;" width="252" /></span></span></div>
</li>
</ol>
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<a href="http://www.breakfreeconsulting.com/newsletters/154-201103-leadership">Read more...</a></div>Tracihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16014028884150521711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32530800.post-74502406969003277372011-02-14T11:23:00.002-06:002011-05-05T11:33:42.103-05:00Success and Failure<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms,helvetica,sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: #07144e;"><span style="font-size: 17px;"></span></span></b></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: 11px;"><span style="color: #07144e;"><span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;">February 2011</span></span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;">To
continue to help you be a better leader I wanted to focus on your
mindset this month. There are so many myths out there as well as stories
and depictions that don't really add value or help you create success
in your life or your leadership.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;">For
example, many success gurus purport a 1953 Yale Study that proved that
the 3% of graduates who wrote down their goals accounted for 97% of the
class' wealth. Have you ever heard of this study? Truth is: It never
happened.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;">How
about the story that your mom told you: if you swallow your gum it will
take 7 years to digest? Nope. That's not true either. (And if you ever
swallowed any of that fluorescent Gator Gum, you already knew that.)</span></span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<b><span style="font-size: 15px;"><span style="color: #185893;">The Road to Success</span></span></b></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;">How about this depiction?</span></span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;"><img src="http://www.breakfreeconsulting.com/breakfreeconsulting/newsletter/images/success-failure.jpg" /></span></span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<span style="color: #ff0040;"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;">It's also a myth!</span></span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;">It
looks like the road to success goes in one direction and the road to
failure goes in the opposite direction. This can create what we call
the "<i>sucker's choice</i>". Either you have to choose success OR you have to choose failure. The sucker's choice is rarely the correct perspective.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;">It's
another one of those myths which won't add value to your life. It is
simply not the truth and will probably take away value from your life. <span style="color: #185893;"><b>If
you continue to believe this IS the road sign of life, you can
unintentionally create a sabotaging mental habit or mindset that keeps
you from your success, your goals, and your dreams.</b></span></span></span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;">The road to success is <span style="text-decoration: underline;">paved with failures</span>.
Failure is the price that you pay for your success. If you spend your
time trying to avoid failure, you will get what you pay for. You will
probably be standing still or going in the same vicious circle you've
been going in for years.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="color: #11b802;"><b>The course you take to success WILL have failure stops along the way.</b></span> The real question for you is: how effectively do you manage those failures?</span></span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;"></span></span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;"></span></span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;"></span></span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;"></span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;"></span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;"><img src="http://www.breakfreeconsulting.com/breakfreeconsulting/newsletter/images/success-failure_map.jpg" style="width: 318px;" width="318" /></span></span></span></div>
<div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<a href="http://www.breakfreeconsulting.com/newsletters/150-201102-success">Read more...</a></div>
</div>Tracihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16014028884150521711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32530800.post-45349188615011638482011-01-12T09:33:00.005-06:002011-01-19T09:41:03.808-06:00Your Virtuous Cycle<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<b><span style="color: red;">Happy New Year!!</span></b> I hope you enjoyed a break over the holiday season. I know that I did.</div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
As
I thought about the newsletters for the upcoming year and thought about
you, I concluded that helping you take your leadership abilities to the
next level might add a great deal of value to your life both personally
and professionally.</div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
As
we start the New Year, many people reflect upon the past. Some realize
that the last year may have been much like Bill Murray experienced in
the movie "Groundhog Day". Many folks realize that there hasn't been
much difference from one year to the next.</div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
Well,
if this is you, I'd like to help you change all that. Ok, even if it
isn't you, I know that you will find value from this.</div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
In Jim Collins' book, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0066620996?ie=UTF8&tag=httpwwwbreakf-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0066620996" style="color: rgb(204, 0, 204) ! important;" target="_blank"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><span style="color: #11b802;"><b><i>Good to Great </i></b></span></span></a>(c)
2001, he talks about the difference between Level 5 leaders who create
great companies and teams and Level 4 leaders who create good companies
and teams. Mr. Collins lists a number of traits but when you look at
it, I believe it boils down to:</div>
<ul>
<li> <span style="font-size: 12px;"><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;">Level 4 leaders focus on the what and how (extrinsic)</span></span></span> </li>
<li> <span style="font-size: 12px;"><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;">Level 5 leaders focus on the why and who (intrinsic)</span></span></span> </li>
</ul>
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In Daniel Pink's book, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1594488843?ie=UTF8&tag=httpwwwbreakf-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=1594488843" style="color: rgb(204, 0, 204) ! important;" target="_blank"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><span style="color: #11b802;"><b><i>Drive</i></b></span></span></a>,
he talks about using extrinsic rewards for motivation and why the
carrot and stick approach no longer works. Oh, sure it did work in the
industrial age when workers were needed primarily for their hands and
feet. However, in the information age, workers are needed for their
brains and minds. Brains and minds aren't only fed with extrinsic
rewards. Mr. Pink give us the M.A.P. for intrinsic motivation: mastery,
autonomy and purpose.</div>
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In the book, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0061964395?ie=UTF8&tag=httpwwwbreakf-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0061964395" style="color: rgb(204, 0, 204) ! important;" target="_blank"><b><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><span style="color: #11b802;"><i>Multipliers</i></span></span></b></a>,
Liz Wiseman and Greg Mckeown discuss how the best leaders are able to
make everyone around them smarter by intrinsically valuing the people
they lead.</div>
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Over
the last 5 years, my coaching practice has focused exclusively on
teaching leaders these "latest discoveries" and taken many clients to
the next level of leadership in their businesses, careers, and also
their personal lives.<br />
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<a href="http://www.breakfreeconsulting.com/newsletters/149-201101-virtuous">Read more... </a><br />
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</div>Tracihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16014028884150521711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32530800.post-24786122026125193522010-12-10T09:32:00.001-06:002011-01-19T09:40:41.392-06:00'Tis the Season<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: georgia,serif;"><b><span style="color: #a03b3b;"><span style="font-size: 18px;"><i>Happy Holidays!!</i></span></span></b></span></div>
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It’s
the holiday season and I am reminded of my childhood living near
Pittsburgh, PA (Go Steelers!!) where this time of year meant snow. Snow…
the very word conjures up pictures from the greeting cards and
commercials. There’s nothing like the pure driven snow. It looks so
beautiful evenly placed over the ground... covering up the bumpy
imperfections of the earth beneath it. Pure white flakes delicately
balanced 1 or 2 inches high on each individual tree branch. It’s so
majestic.</div>
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What
we sometimes forget from the perspective of these images is that it’s
FREEZING out there! If we want to go outside, we have to spend 20
minutes putting on 6 layers of clothes and big boots to look like the
Michelin man as we try to make our way to the car. Getting to the car is
just the beginning of the battle. Then you have to try to open the door
that Mother Nature has so kindly iced shut in the frigid wind. Once you
make your way in, you start up the car because it’ll take a few minutes
before it’s ready to go. Then, you step back out into the frozen tundra
with your handy-dandy piece of plastic (otherwise known as your ice
scraper). Sometimes the snow is so deep that you have to remove some of
it with your arm, but then the scraping begins. You debate, as your
toes, nose and fingers start to become numb whether or not you’ll just
scrape the driver’s side or the whole windshield. You clear one square
foot in front of the driver before your plastic scraper freezes and
disintegrates. So you take off your gloves, reach into your wallet for
the credit card that you use the least, and try to make the area bigger
before returning to the less freezing environment of your car.</div>
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<div style="color: #38761d; margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<i>Oh, the beauty and majesty of the season!</i></div>
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I
tell you this story because the illusions of Christmas and the holidays
can be just as stressful as freeing your car of the “beautiful,
splendid snow”.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="color: black; margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
<span style="clear: right; float: right; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img height="140" src="http://www.misfittoys.net/tvtime/grinch/town2.jpg" style="border: 2px solid rgb(102, 102, 102); float: right; height: 140px; margin: 1px; text-align: right; width: 187px;" width="187" /></span>Hallmark
and other institutions have forever painted our holiday season with joy
and happiness and gifts. We’re all getting that Lexus with a big red bow this year, right? The family will get together and all sit around the 12 person dinner table flawlessly decorated with placemats and red and green napkins.The
patriarch of the family is standing at the head of the table carving
the turkey or ham. The matriarch is passing around the perfectly
prepared side dishes… mashed potatoes with un-lumpy gravy, green bean
casserole with the crunchy onions on top, and homemade cheese raviolis
(my mom’s Italian, ya know). They’ll all hold hands and sway as they
sing grace just like the Whos in Whoville. Then they will tuck in their
napkins and politely converse over the holiday meal. Oh, the joy and
happiness!<br />
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<a href="http://www.breakfreeconsulting.com/newsletters/146-201012-holiday">Read more... </a><br />
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</div>Tracihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16014028884150521711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32530800.post-87182939332777423682010-11-15T09:11:00.009-06:002011-01-19T09:28:33.398-06:00Giving Thanks TO Others<img alt="" border="1" src="http://files.icontact.com/templates/v2/ThanksgivingTwoColumnTan/images/top-right.gif" style="cursor: pointer; float: right; height: 176px; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; width: 280px;" />
<br />
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Well, in the US it's that time of the year that we all get together and give thanks. Thanksgiving was originally a time to come together and celebrate the harvest... to give thanks to the earth for her bounty. It has definitely evolved over the years into a time for family and friends to come together and eat turkey, watch football, and plan holiday shopping. Ok, sometimes we give thanks too, but mostly we stuff our pie holes.</div>
<b>
<span style="color: #ff6600; font-weight: bold;"> </span></b><br />
<b><span style="color: #ff6600; font-weight: bold;">Giving Thanks TO as well as FOR</span></b> <br />
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</div>
<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
Many times Thanksgiving is spent giving thanks FOR the things that we have. This is a terrific tradition. But this year, I'm hoping to encourage you to expand it a little bit. This year in addition to giving thanks for your things (extrinsic, tangible, measurable stuff), I propose that you take a few minutes to think about the intrinsic, infinitely valuable gifts that you have received... that others have brought to your life.</div>
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<div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt;">
Let's give thanks <b><span style="text-decoration: underline;">TO</span></b> the people as well as <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b>FOR</b></span> the things.</div>
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<br />
<b>Gratitude</b></div>
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<b></b></div>
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When I think of the times that I feel most fulfilled, it doesn't involve doing or getting "things". It usually involves the joy that another human being has shared with me.<br />
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<a href="http://www.breakfreeconsulting.com/newsletters/145-201011-thanks">Read more...</a></div>
</div>Tracihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16014028884150521711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32530800.post-12807381649268326442010-10-19T09:09:00.001-05:002011-01-19T09:10:51.390-06:00Celebrating Your Way to Success<p>Can you believe it?!? This is the <strong>50<sup>th</sup> edition</strong> of my monthly newsletter! Whether you have been around since the beginning or this is your very first edition... <strong><span class="center-blue">THANK YOU!!</span></strong> I sincerely appreciate your time and I hope that I can continue to add value to your life.</p> <p><img src="http://www.breakfreeconsulting.com/newsletter/fireworks.jpg" alt="Fireworks" height="123" align="right" border="2" width="227" />As I was thinking about what to write this month, I thought about celebrating this milestone. Then, I thought about the <em>habit of celebrating</em> in general. Have you developed this habit?</p> <h3>Celebration and Joy</h3> <p>Have you ever watched children playing? Whether it's through competitive sports or just individually imagining and experimenting, it's really amazing to see the world through the eyes of a child. <span style="text-decoration: underline;">They celebrate the little things.</span></p> <p>Just this past week I was able to witness a little girl in the airport pulling her <em>Dora The Explorer</em> roller bag to the gate. She arrived and said to her mom, "<em class="center-blue">Mom, I did it!! I carried my bag the WHOLE way!</em>" I also watched two little boys playing with a new truck. As one of the boys made the truck's siren go off, the other one said, "<span class="center-blue"><em>You did it!! You did it!!</em></span>" My favorite occurred in San Francisco's airport where I witnessed a little girl about 3 years old come running out of the restroom releasing her mom's hand and sprinting up to her dad in his nice suit and tie yelling, "<em><span class="center-blue">Daddy, Daddy!! I pooped!</span></em><span class="center-blue"> </span>" Oh, the joys of a nice bowel movement!</p> <p>As kids, we celebrate any and almost every accomplishment. Then at some point in our lives, when we become "big" girls and boys and it's no longer "cool" to celebrate our successes we stop. Why is that? Why do we start to call those people that celebrate "big headed" or "self-centered" or "show offs" or "immature"? Why does celebrating take on a negative connotation?</p> <p>Does another person's success somehow diminish our own? Is there a limited quantity of celebration in the world? Does their celebration somehow mean you don't get your piece of the celebration pie?</p> <p>Have you ever wondered why "excessive celebration" is a penalty in the NFL and NCAA Football but you can rip off your shirt, slide across the field, and have your team pile up on you for scoring a goal in soccer? Why does it matter if they <em>are</em> "showing off"?</p> <h3>Celebration and Your Brain</h3> <p>Celebration is great for your brain.</p> <p>Celebration has also been shown to lead to increased trust, communication, and risk-taking. Celebrating creates a atmosphere of optimism and hope. It focuses the brain on creating instead of avoiding.</p> <p>Celebration releases chemicals called neurotransmitters at the synapses in your brain and these intensify motivation to act for more solutions and celebrations.</p><p style="text-align: right;"><a href="http://www.breakfreeconsulting.com/newsletters/141-201010-celebrating">Read more...</a>
</p>Tracihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16014028884150521711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32530800.post-82589103546361562332010-09-19T09:07:00.002-05:002011-01-19T09:11:19.357-06:00Understanding Cans & Wills<p>Have you ever noticed the frustration that is caused by confusing <span class="center-blue">'cans'</span> and <span class="center-red">'wills'</span>? Some people assume that because a person <span class="center-blue">'can'</span> do something they <span class="center-red">'will'</span> do something... like kids <span class="center-blue">can</span> clean their rooms, so they <span class="center-red">will</span> clean their rooms; a colleague <span class="center-blue">can</span> help you, but <span class="center-red">won't</span>; someone says they <span class="center-red">will</span> do a task but then <span class="center-blue">can't</span>. Do you notice any stress in your life from this phenomenon?</p> <h3>Cans and Wills</h3> <p>So what is a <span class="center-blue">'can'</span> and what is a <span class="center-red">'will'</span>? Just to be sure we're on the same page...</p> <p><strong class="body-center-blue"><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Can</span></strong> means that a person has the ability, power, or skill or has the means and qualifications to perform.</p> <p><strong class="body-center-red"><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Will</span></strong> means that a person has a wish or desire to perform, or they'd like to, may decide to, or attempt to perform.</p> <p>There's a BIG difference between the two. There is also a lot of frustration around <span class="center-blue">cans</span> and <span class="center-red">wills</span> when we aren't on the same page.</p> <h3>Misalignment</h3> <p>In my <a href="http://www.breakfreeconsulting.com/newsletters/137-201008-right">last newsletter</a>, I talked about the brain's natural instinct for detecting errors. When those errors are recognized, the brain shuts down its cognitive area and goes into reactive mode. This is where emotions and physiological responses take over to 'protect' you from the error.</p> <p>One tiny problem... the brain will detect an 'error' when its expectation is different from what occurs in reality. You will feel it when your expectations aren't met. Think about how you feel when you don't expect a car to pull out in front of you and it does... or when you expected your kids to clean their room and they didn't... or you expected a team member to complete a task and it isn't done. All of these 'errors' can cause you to react in a negative (and sometimes 'thought-less' manner) because your autonomic self-protection system has been triggered. Your brain shuts down cognitive function and sends that energy to your muscles and other organs to quickly respond to the perceived error or threat.</p> <p>One problem... in reaction/error mode, the brain doesn't know is that this really isn't a threat to your physical well-being.</p> <p>So, what kind of strife arises in your life when the <span class="center-blue">cans</span> and <span class="center-red">wills</span> aren't aligned?</p> <p>Let's look at some statements that you may have heard by well-meaning people that can cause this misalignment. Have you ever heard this one?</p> <p><em>"You can do anything you want to do in life."</em> While meant to be motivational, it's a lie. No where on the planet is there a place where you can do <span style="text-decoration: underline;">whatever you want to do in life</span>. There are always consequences and choices that have to be made within certain physical or mental parameters. Now, you are free <em>try</em> to do anything, but you may not have the talents or skills to accomplish what you'd like to accomplish.</p> <p>When the <span class="center-blue">can</span> isn't aligned with the <span class="center-red">will</span>, there will be frustration, discontentment, dissatisfaction and little enthusiasm.</p> <p>When the <span class="center-red">will</span> isn't aligned with the <span class="center-blue">can</span>, there will be defeat, discouragement, and even resentment.</p> <p>Have you felt this in your life?</p><p style="text-align: right;"><a href="http://www.breakfreeconsulting.com/newsletter-signup/138-201009-cans-wills">Read more...</a>
</p>Tracihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16014028884150521711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32530800.post-4629156700158658492010-08-15T08:02:00.006-05:002011-01-19T08:35:30.828-06:00What's RIGHT with You?!?<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:130%;"><strong><strong>What's <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); text-decoration: line-through;">WRONG</span> RIGHT with You?!?</strong></strong></span></p><p class="quote"><strong>"Fear less, hope more;
Eat less, chew more;
Whine less, breathe more;
Talk less, say more;
Love more, and all good things will be yours." </strong>
- Swedish Proverb</p> <p>I love that quote above because it has one of my all-time favorite words in it 5 times. That word is "<strong>more</strong>". I love that word because it's neverending. You can always have and be "more". More today than yesterday, and more tomorrow than today.</p> <p>So, how does that play into "What's RIGHT with You" - the title of this newsletter. Well, in life, we seem to find more of what we look for. You can seek more joy and find it. Or you can choose the mindset of seeking more pain and find it as well.</p> <h3>What is your focus?</h3> <p>So many people have been trained most of their lives to look for risks (i.e. what can go wrong). Starting in elementary school, we're taught to solve <span style="text-decoration: underline;">problems</span>. That's what homework is all about... read this and solve the problems.</p> <p>When are we going to learn that the greatest success comes from <span class="body-center-green"><strong>seeking opportunities</strong></span> not finding and identifying problems and challenges? When are learning institutions going to give their students exercises on finding opportunities?</p> <h3>Opportunity vs. Risk</h3> <p>Our brains are trained from a young age to look at what's wrong. Our self-worth is sometimes defined by how many problems that we can fix or avoid. Many people think that the brain 'naturally' functions that way. I believe that it has been coached and trained to think that way. Sure, the brain has a natural instinct for recognizing errors, but the mind can choose what to focus on.</p> <p>From entrepreneurs to project managers to sales people... you are taught to find the pain, the problem... to look for what's wrong and come up with a solution. It sounds logical and it is helpful (please don't misunderstand my point.)</p> <p>Let's look at the people that have "made it", who are highly successful and wealthy. Since I have an Information Technology background, let's look at Steve Jobs and Bill Gates. These are two highly successful gentlemen. They have changed the lives of millions and millions of people.
<strong>Did they do it by looking for problems?</strong>
<strong class="body-center-blue">Or, did they do it by looking for opportunities?</strong></p> <p style="text-align: right;"><a href="http://www.breakfreeconsulting.com/newsletter-signup/137-201008-right">Read more...</a>
</p>Tracihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16014028884150521711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32530800.post-8715267033835907532010-07-13T10:47:00.001-05:002011-01-19T09:11:41.213-06:00Breaking Free - The Power of Nice<p class="quote"><em>"You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late."</em> - Ralph Waldo Emerson</p><p>Last month I gave a keynote address at the PMI Houston Conference & Expo. Kathy Ridley, the current chapter president, asked me to do a special presentation on the Power of Nice. We received terrific reviews so I thought I'd share the neuroscience and axiology of the Power of Nice with you.</p><h3>What is NICE?</h3><p>The word 'nice' is used in a variety of ways. I hear it most often as people say "<strong>Have a nice day.</strong>" What exactly does that mean? Nice has so many different meanings.</p><p>For instance, 'nice' can mean <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);"><em class="center-blue">pleasing, delightful, pleasant and kind</em></span>. It can also mean <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);"><em class="center-blue">minute, fine or subtle</em></span> as in "a nice distinction". It can also mean <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);"><em class="center-blue">accurate, precision or skillful</em></span> as in "nice shot" or "nice workmanship". (I'm pretty sure people aren't saying "Have a subtle day." or "Have an accurate day.")</p><p>Oh, but nice can also mean <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);"><em class="center-blue">virtuous, respectable or proper</em></span> as in "She's a nice girl." Then you can also put the word "too" in front of nice so that it means something negative. "She's too nice." which usually equals doormat.</p><p>So, we're going to go with the first definition of nice meaning pleasant and delightful... something that brings joy and satisfaction.</p><h3>This is your brain</h3><p>The conscious brain gets all the attention. You know the part that is aware and thinks and plans. We spend a lot of time, energy and money developing the conscious part of our brain. However, it is a slave to all of the other parts that lie "beneath" it. Every feeling is a summary of data that comes from our subconscious/autonomic brain. Our feelings are visceral responses to all the information that your brain contains that can't be directly accessed by your conscious brain.</p><h3>An Open-Loop Limbic System</h3><p>In Daniel Goleman's book, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1591391849?ie=UTF8&tag=httpwwwbreakf-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=1591391849" target="_blank"><em>Primal Leadership</em></a> (2002, HBS Press), he discusses the design of the human brain: what scientists have begun to call the open-loop nature of our emotional centers (limbic system).</p><p><a href="http://www.breakfreeconsulting.com/newsletters/136-201007-nice">Read more...</a></p>Tracihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16014028884150521711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32530800.post-53215684111979838522010-06-21T10:42:00.004-05:002010-07-27T10:46:59.164-05:00Breaking Free - The Contemptuous Eyeroll<p style="TEXT-ALIGN: center"><strong><span style="font-size:130%;">The Contemptuous Eye Roll</span> </strong></p><p class="greenquote"><em><span style="color:#339966;">This is an encore newsletter from a couple of years ago that I wanted to send out again because I've noticed a lot of contemptuous eye rolls lately... especially in American politics and current events.</span></em></p><p class="greenquote"><em><span style="color:#339966;">We've been talking about expectations and perfection in the last few newsletters and that can often lead to devaluing of the human being (because our mind is overvaluing the idea or expectation).</span></em></p><p class="greenquote"><em><span style="color:#339966;">The green text, like this text, is new information that I've added to the previous edition.</span></em></p><p>What I'd like to draw your attention to in this issue is how you can recognize when you are devaluing others. If you can learn to recognize a key component to this transposition of value, you will be one step closer to being able to bring positive value to those around you.</p><p>In my coaching practice, the key goal is to basically shorten and eventually eliminate the time between when you recognize you've messed up and when you actually messed up. If you, at this Pivotal Moment, can choose a different response, YOU will be able to be on your true path to success. If you don't choose to respond differently and ignore a sabotaging thought, you will greatly hinder your success.</p><p>Let's learn about a commonly overlooked (devaluing) expression...</p><h3>World Famous Face Reader</h3><p><img style="MARGIN-RIGHT: 6px" border="1" alt="Paul Ekman" align="left" src="http://www.breakfreeconsulting.com/newsletter/images/ekman.jpg" width="160" height="160" />Have you ever heard of <a href="http://www.paulekman.com/" target="_blank">Paul Ekman</a>? Dr. Paul Ekman is a professor of psychology who has become the world's most famous face reader. The Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI), the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) and state and local police forces have turned to Dr. Ekman for help learning to read subtle emotional cues from the faces, voices and body language of potential assassins, terrorists and questionable visa applicants. The detailed knowledge of facial expression has earned Dr. Ekman a supporting role in the movie industry, where he has consulted with animators from Pixar and Industrial Light & Magic to give lifelike expressions to cartoon characters.</p><p class="greenquote"><em><span style="color:#339966;">Dr. Ekman's work is also featured on the Fox show "Lie to me*". You can watch full episodes by going to</span> </em><a href="http://www.fox.com/watch/lietome"><em>http://www.fox.com/watch/lietome</em></a><em>.</em></p><p>Dr. Ekman's expertise is very unique and can be very helpful when understanding when you are de-valuing others. For instance, Dr. Ekman is able to accurately predict whether a couple will divorce in the next 4 years simply by watching (not even hearing) a couple's conversation. He doesn't even need to see the whole conversation... he only needs to see 3-4 minutes to make his prediction.</p><p class="body-center-blue"><strong><span style="color:#0000ff;">He is right 94% of the time!!</span></strong></p><h3>How does he do it?</h3><p><a href="http://www.breakfreeconsulting.com/newsletters/135-201006-eyeroll">Read more...</a></p>Tracihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16014028884150521711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32530800.post-4470956533330662712010-05-11T10:39:00.000-05:002010-07-27T10:41:38.689-05:00Breaking Free - The Perfection Prison<p style="TEXT-ALIGN: center"><strong><span style="font-size:130%;">The Perfection Prison</span></strong></p><p>Last month I wrote about <a href="http://www.blogger.com/newsletters/132-201004-indecision">Overcoming Indecision</a>. If you've read it, you've learned how to watch out for the traps and some keys to making good decisions. As I asked others what gets in the way of them actually making decisions, one of the overwhelming responses is fear. As I probed a little deeper, I found out that the fear is often caused by <em><span style="TEXT-DECORATION: underline">perfection</span></em>.</p><p>Many people overvalue the idea of perfection which causes them to devalue reality. The idea ends up having more value in their minds than actually creating and engaging in life. Instead of improving life, perfection creates a prison.</p><h3>The Perfection Prison</h3><p>So what does this perfection prison look like? Well, it only exists in your mind and it can be a major obstacle to your joy and happiness. The retaining bars of your prison are NOT real - they only appear real in your imagination. The bars of your prison may be created by:</p><ul><li><strong>Rejecting Failure</strong> = refusing to recognize a positive side to failure. For you perfectionists, your initial reaction to that last statement may be disbelief. What good can come of failure? Well, according to neuroscientists a great deal of good can come from failure because our mind is really good at detecting 'errors'. That is how it creates new thoughts and neuropathways. You need failures to help your brain succeed.</li><li><strong>Rejecting Success</strong> = refusing to "lower" your standards of perfection. The pursuit of perfection requires high standards and yet as the perfectionist approaches a high standard they immediately reset to even higher standards thus never celebrating success (which is also good for the brain.)</li><li><strong>Rejecting Painful Emotions</strong> = Pain equals not perfect in the mind of the perfectionist. Happiness is the perfectionist's goal and negative emotions fall short of that goal so these are avoided at all costs.</li><li><strong>Rejecting Positive Emotions</strong> = by consistently and constantly setting goals that will never be reached, the perfectionist, by default, has little to celebrate. Realistically, when will your performance be perfect? Can't you always find something to improve? So, when will perfection be reached? Never.</li><li><strong>Rejecting the full experience of life</strong> = Life is flawed in the perfectionists mind. Perfection locks you into one specific outcome. The perfectionist spends much time living in their imagination and their "what if" world, missing out on the experience and journey of life.</li></ul><p>All of this leads to fear (Fully Engaged in Avoiding Reality).</p><p><a href="http://www.breakfreeconsulting.com/newsletters/134-201005-perfection">Read more...</a></p>Tracihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16014028884150521711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32530800.post-37076765023529613172010-04-13T10:28:00.000-05:002010-07-27T10:31:24.292-05:00Breaking Free - Overcoming Indecision<p style="TEXT-ALIGN: center"><strong><span style="font-size:130%;">Overcoming Indecision</span></strong></p><p>I was trying to decide what to write about this month. At first nothing exciting came to mind. Then lots of ideas came to my head but after re-evaluating, those ideas might not have been too exciting either.</p><p>Then, it happened. I thought that writing about decision making and overcoming indecisiveness would be valuable and maybe even exciting.</p><h3>The Choices You Make</h3><p>Let's look at how long it takes you to make a decision.</p><p><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: right; FLOAT: right" alt="Indecision" src="http://www.breakfreeconsulting.com/newsletter/decision-175.jpg" width="175" height="118" />How much mental energy do you put into deciding:</p><ul><li>where to eat dinner? </li><li>what clothes to wear?</li><li>where to go on vacation?</li><li>what product to buy?</li></ul><p>How long does it take you to make decisions at work?</p><ul><li>which resources to use?</li><li>what path to take?</li><li>how much time to invest?</li></ul><p>Every choice you make means that you lose out on all of the other options. <em>Choice = loss</em>. Doesn't that seem very final?</p><h3>Good Decisions</h3><p>We all want to make good decisions and choices. A choice is a <span style="TEXT-DECORATION: underline">value judgment</span> plain and simple. Choice is about selecting the option that your mind believes is the best decision. It's about what <span style="TEXT-DECORATION: underline">adds the greatest value</span>.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.breakfreeconsulting.com/newsletters/132-201004-indecision">Read more...</a></p>Tracihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16014028884150521711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32530800.post-22838997286607121792010-03-17T10:22:00.001-05:002010-07-27T10:27:07.188-05:00Breaking Free - Staying Focused on Your Goals<p style="TEXT-ALIGN: center"><strong><span style="font-size:130%;">Staying Focused on Your Goals</span>
</strong></p><p>Did you watch the Olympics last month? I typically watch off and on but am truthfully more interested in the stories about the athletes than I am about the outcome of the events.</p><p>Those athletes are very gifted and very dedicated to their sports. They have stayed focused on their goals for many, many years. Yet, here it is March and many folks who made New Years resolutions or set new goals for 2010 have already given up. Are you one of those people that have given up on a goal that you just set a couple months ago? You are not alone.</p><p><span style="font-size:130%;"><strong>Losing Focus</strong></span></p><p>What has caused you to lose focus on your dreams? As you may know, in my coaching practice, I help folks analyze their thinking and valuing habits. Many times your most out-of-balance thoughts get in the way of you achieving your success.</p><p>Those out-of-balance thoughts are valuing habits that filter out some of the information that you need to make good decisions. For instance, let's say that you were going to workout three times a week in order to lose weight and be healthier. But, you've gotten a little off track. What does your mind tell you?</p><ul><li>If your <strong>Practical Judgment</strong> is out-of-balance, you may hear thoughts like "It's not that important." or "I don't have the time for that today."</li><li>If your <strong>Systems Thinking</strong> is out-of-balance, you may hear "I don't feel like it." or "This will never work."</li><li>If it's your <strong>Self Esteem</strong> that's out-of-balance, you may hear thoughts like "I knew I couldn't do it." or "This just isn't worth it for me." or "I can't spend that time on me; that would be selfish."</li><li>If it's your <strong>Self Direction</strong> that's getting in the way, you may hear thoughts like "If I can't be perfect, it's not worth it." or "My dream is so far away I can't see how this is going to help me get there."</li></ul><p>When you focus on the thoughts from these (out-of-balance) perspectives, you will lose focus on <em>who you want to become</em> and what you want to achieve. You may want to read the previous months' newsletters again to remind yourself of a better way to set and achieve your goals. If you used the goal setting process that we outlined in <a href="http://www.blogger.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=127:201001-goals&catid=62">January</a> and <a href="http://www.blogger.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=130:201002-example&catid=62">February</a> newsletters you will be focused on <span style="TEXT-DECORATION: underline">WHO you want to become</span>, not just WHAT you want to or have to do.</p><p><a href="http://www.breakfreeconsulting.com/newsletters/131-201003-focused">Read more...</a></p>Tracihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16014028884150521711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32530800.post-51229542779750221692010-02-06T19:58:00.005-06:002010-07-27T10:28:01.223-05:00Breaking Free - Example of Goal Setting<p align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;"><strong>Example of Goal Achieving Process</strong></span></p><p><a href="http://www.breakfreeconsulting.com/newsletters/63/121-201001-goals" bitly="BITLY_PROCESSED">Last month</a> I wrote about focusing on <em>goal achieving</em> instead of just <em>goal setting</em>. I wrote about how your frustration is caused by a misalignment of your natural talents and skills to your current job or position. I then explained the goal achieving process. Many people responded to that newsletter asking me for more details or maybe an example. So, I've decided to share my personal goal achieving process with you to let you know what has worked for me in the hope that it will inspire you.</p><h3>#1 Dream Big Dreams</h3><p>Don't be afraid to dream big dreams. Many folks that I talk to have been beaten down by the path they've taken in life. They lack the self-confidence to even dream big. I recognize this because I've been there. As a kid, I was going to change the world, then somehow, by the time I was 35 years old the world had changed me.</p><p>Look at your life and decide what you want financially, spiritually, personally, relationally. What do you want to accomplish? What legacy do you want to leave? What would you like the people you know to say about you at the end of your life?</p><p>For me, well, some of my dreams are this:</p><ul><li>Impact the lives of 1 million people (yes, I put my pinky to my mouth when I say that like in the Austin Powers movie)</li><li>Make over 1 million dollars in a year (no matter what I have to pay in taxes)</li><li>Give away over 1 million dollars</li><li>Be on the cover of Success Magazine</li><li>Be on ESPN <strong>in</strong> the game (not just <strong>at</strong> the game with a rainbow afro on my head)</li></ul><h3>#2 Who do You want to Become?</h3><p>Instead of chasing money and fame which can leave you feeling empty and maybe even broken in the end, focus on becoming the person who would rightfully have the things that you dream about.</p><p class="text">As Og Mandino writes: <span class="greenquote">"... I am prepared for wisdom and principles which will guide me out of the shadows into the sunlight of wealth, position, and happiness far beyond my most extravagant dreams until even the golden apples in the Garden of Hesperides will seem no more than my just reward."</span></p>
<p><a href="http://www.breakfreeconsulting.com/newsletters/130-201002-example">Read more...</a></p>Tracihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16014028884150521711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32530800.post-73557750805516798822010-01-10T19:33:00.004-06:002010-01-31T19:40:10.604-06:00Breaking Free - Achieving Your Goals<p style="text-align: center; font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-size:130%;">Don't just SET goals, ACHIEVE them!</span></p> <p><img alt="goal achievement" src="http://www.breakfreeconsulting.com/images/stories/images/graphics/achievement-staircase-q180.jpg" style="border: 1px solid black; margin: 3px; float: right;" />So many people have given up on goal setting. It doesn't seem to work for them. Even "goal-oriented" people are often frustrated by their goals. But for years, the gurus have told you things like:</p> <ul><li>"Set S.M.A.R.T. goals (specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and timely). It's a sure-fire way to achieve them."</li><li>"Put pictures of your dream house, your dream car, your dream job all over your bathroom mirror and places where you'll see them every day."</li></ul> <p>Here's the problem with some of these techniques... they have created an epidemic of people who are unfulfilled, frustrated and dissatisfied with their own performance and success. Goals are supposed to motivate and inspire you, not make you feel hopeless, helpless or like a failure.</p> <p style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-size:130%;">You are Brilliant! (Yes, I'm talking to YOU)</span></p> <p><a bitly="BITLY_PROCESSED" target="_blank" href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0061964549?ie=UTF8&tag=httpwwwbreakf-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0061964549"><img style="margin: 3px; float: right;" alt="Aspire! by Kevin Hall" src="http://www.breakfreeconsulting.com/images/stories/images/graphics/aspire_book.jpg" width="73" height="120" /></a>I'm reading a great book called <a bitly="BITLY_PROCESSED" target="_blank" href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0061964549?ie=UTF8&tag=httpwwwbreakf-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0061964549">Aspire! Discovering Your Purpose Through the Power of Words</a>. I recommend it to everyone reading this newsletter. (<a bitly="BITLY_PROCESSED" target="_blank" href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0061964549?ie=UTF8&tag=httpwwwbreakf-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0061964549">Click here</a> to purchase it on Amazon.) In this book, it talks about the word "<strong><em>genius</em></strong>". Did you know that you were a genius? YOU ARE!! The word genius comes from the Latin word "genuinus" which means <em>what you were naturally born with</em>. The orignial word meant "guardian deity or spirit which watches over each person from birth; spirit, incarnation, wit, talent". <strong>Genius is nothing more than being true to YOU.</strong> It's about being genuine and true to your natural talents. It's about unleashing your brilliance.</p> <p style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-size:130%;">Why the frustration?</span></p> <p>But, when we set goals, we usually do it backwards. (No wonder it's frustrating!) The vast majority of the gurus assume there is no real difference between skills (which can be acquired) and talents or natural strengths (which you are gifted with at birth). Many gurus think that <span style="text-decoration: underline;">natural talents</span> can be developed through learning, training, and discipline. They fail to appreciate and acknowledge what neuroscience tells us - YOU are born with fixed, deeply-ingrained neural pathways and networks that control your natural talents. When you fail to see the difference between natural talents and learned skills, you make the bad assumption that both can be equally acquired.</p><p>Read more by <a href="http://www.breakfreeconsulting.com/newsletters/63/121-201001-goals">clicking here</a>.
</p>Tracihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16014028884150521711noreply@blogger.com0