Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Breaking Free - The Stories THEY Tell Us

The last 2 newsletters I've written have been about the stories the WE tell others and the stories that we tell ourselves. This month I'm going to discuss the stories that others tell us.

As I talk with my clients, I am shocked with how many believe and take to heart the things that others say about them. I know, we as humans value other people and their opinions of us. You try to please other people and live up to their beliefs often at your own expense. Are you a "people-pleaser"? Even if you spout off saying "I don't care what anyone else thinks" (like some teenagers do), it's simply human nature to care. And, chances are there is at least one other person whose opinion of you that you care about. That person may be your spouse or your kids... your boss or your peers... your fellow church-goers or your poker buddies. So what stories are they telling you about you?

Your Beliefs Control Your Destiny

The belief you have in yourself determines everything that you do. Yet many times, you didn't come to that belief yourself. The belief that you have in what you can and cannot do, who you can and cannot be, came from others... your teachers, coaches, parents, pastors, bosses, peers, even the bullies from school. These folks have told you stories about you and you unconsciously believed them.

Math KidYou may have heard the story of the young man who fell asleep in his math class. He woke up as the bell rang, looked up at the blackboard, and copied down the two problems that were written there. He assumed they were the homework for the night. He went home and labored the rest of the afternoon and into the evening knowing if he didn't complete the work he would surely fail the class. He couldn't figure out either one but he kept trying for the rest of the week. Finally, he got the answer to one and brought it to class. The teacher was absolutely stunned. The boy feared he had done too little, too late. It turned out the problem he solved was supposedly unsolvable.

How did he do it? He was able to do what was thought to be impossible because he believed it was possible. He not only believed it was possible, he believed that if he didn't solve it he would fail the class. Had he known the problem was "unsolvable" he could never have done it.

Have you looked at your beliefs about you lately?

Read more at http://www.breakfreeconsulting.com/newsletter/200911-stories3.htm