Stress and "Happily Ever After"

We hear so much these days about how stress is destroying people's lives... their physical health, their mental health, their relationships, their careers. People 'burn-out' all the time (whether they'd like to admit it or not.) Many times they just want to quit... get out of the rat race... go to a far, far away island where they can live happily ever after.

Where is this land of "Happily Ever After"?

The sad truth is that it exists only in our imagination.

So, where does all this stress in your life come from? I have a suggestion... it comes from one central location... your imagination.

Ok, ok, I can hear you screaming at me already...

• IS IT MY IMAGINATION THAT MY BOSS IS A JACK*$$ or EXPECTS SO MUCH FROM ME?
• IS IT MY IMAGINATION THAT MY TEAM WON'T FOLLOW MY LEAD or HAS PEOPLE ON IT THAT DON'T DO WHAT THEY SAY THEY'RE GOING TO DO?
• IS IT MY IMAGINATION THAT MY BUSINESS IS NOT GROWING or I CAN'T FIND THE RIGHT PEOPLE FOR THE JOB?
• IS IT MY IMAGINATION THAT I'M OVERWEIGHT/UNDERWEIGHT?
• IS IT MY IMAGINATION THAT MY SPOUSE IS A LOSER?
• IS IT MY IMAGINATION ( fill in the blank )?

No, no. That's not what I'm saying. Please let me continue before you get all riled up.

In this world, we are placed under a lot of expectations. Here are just a few:

• We're expected to work longer, harder, smarter, faster.
• We're expected to be passionate, caring, thoughtful, gracious with are friends, co-workers and partners.
• We're expected to 'give back' to our communities, to deserving charities and other good causes.
• We're expected to be successful, to make a lot of money, to have a lot of friends, to be up-to-date on all the latest news.
• We're expected to be healthy, "normal" weight, in good physical condition.

Where do these expectations come from and why do we live under them?

I propose that you get out from under the expectations of the world!!

I'm not saying to discard your goals and dreams. Quite the contrary, I believe that you should focus on YOUR goals and dreams, on what YOU aspire to become and not put so much emphasis on what "THEY" say.

Here are some thoughts...

• What if you were able to realize that your stress was coming from your own mind and its acceptance of the measures of other people?
• What if you could decide on your own measurement for YOUR success?

Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "No one can make your feel inferior without your permission."

In fact, no one can make you feel any emotion without your permission. No one can make you feel stress without your permission!!

How can that be? Well, it seems that most stress comes from cognitive dissonance. Ok, that's just a fancy expression for the difference between where you currently are and where you think you should be. Here's the best part... YOU control where YOU think YOU should be. You may decide, consciously or unconsciously, to relinquish that control to your boss, your partner, your kids, your parents, or even the collective "they" (whom I still have yet to meet). But the decision and the control is yours and yours alone.

So, if you decide to cling to the expectation that your life should be lived in the "Happily Ever After", you should realize that you will probably miss out on the "Pretty Terrific Now". You see, when you learn to focus on today and learn to use your gifts, your talents, your uniqueness to make YOUR dreams and goals come true, you will find that you already have what it takes to get to where you want to be.

It's amazing how your stress can be reduced when you focus on the "Now" instead of the "could've", "should've", "would've" and the "ought to", "must", "have to" that the world of "Happily Ever After" places you.

Spend some time thinking about YOU and your "Pretty Terrific Now". You can be the master of your thoughts, the master of your imagination and choose to use it for YOUR good instead of 'evil'. :)