Breaking Free - Staying Focused on Your Goals

Staying Focused on Your Goals

Did you watch the Olympics last month? I typically watch off and on but am truthfully more interested in the stories about the athletes than I am about the outcome of the events.

Those athletes are very gifted and very dedicated to their sports. They have stayed focused on their goals for many, many years. Yet, here it is March and many folks who made New Years resolutions or set new goals for 2010 have already given up. Are you one of those people that have given up on a goal that you just set a couple months ago? You are not alone.

Losing Focus

What has caused you to lose focus on your dreams? As you may know, in my coaching practice, I help folks analyze their thinking and valuing habits. Many times your most out-of-balance thoughts get in the way of you achieving your success.

Those out-of-balance thoughts are valuing habits that filter out some of the information that you need to make good decisions. For instance, let's say that you were going to workout three times a week in order to lose weight and be healthier. But, you've gotten a little off track. What does your mind tell you?

• If your Practical Judgment is out-of-balance, you may hear thoughts like "It's not that important." or "I don't have the time for that today."
• If your Systems Thinking is out-of-balance, you may hear "I don't feel like it." or "This will never work."
• If it's your Self Esteem that's out-of-balance, you may hear thoughts like "I knew I couldn't do it." or "This just isn't worth it for me." or "I can't spend that time on me; that would be selfish."
• If it's your Self Direction that's getting in the way, you may hear thoughts like "If I can't be perfect, it's not worth it." or "My dream is so far away I can't see how this is going to help me get there."

When you focus on the thoughts from these (out-of-balance) perspectives, you will lose focus on who you want to become and what you want to achieve. You may want to read the previous months' newsletters again to remind yourself of a better way to set and achieve your goals. If you used the goal setting process that we outlined in January and February newsletters you will be focused on WHO you want to become, not just WHAT you want to or have to do.

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Breaking Free - Example of Goal Setting

Example of Goal Achieving Process

Last month I wrote about focusing on goal achieving instead of just goal setting. I wrote about how your frustration is caused by a misalignment of your natural talents and skills to your current job or position. I then explained the goal achieving process. Many people responded to that newsletter asking me for more details or maybe an example. So, I've decided to share my personal goal achieving process with you to let you know what has worked for me in the hope that it will inspire you.

#1 Dream Big Dreams

Don't be afraid to dream big dreams. Many folks that I talk to have been beaten down by the path they've taken in life. They lack the self-confidence to even dream big. I recognize this because I've been there. As a kid, I was going to change the world, then somehow, by the time I was 35 years old the world had changed me.

Look at your life and decide what you want financially, spiritually, personally, relationally. What do you want to accomplish? What legacy do you want to leave? What would you like the people you know to say about you at the end of your life?

For me, well, some of my dreams are this:

• Impact the lives of 1 million people (yes, I put my pinky to my mouth when I say that like in the Austin Powers movie)
• Make over 1 million dollars in a year (no matter what I have to pay in taxes)
• Give away over 1 million dollars
• Be on the cover of Success Magazine
• Be on ESPN in the game (not just at the game with a rainbow afro on my head)

#2 Who do You want to Become?

Instead of chasing money and fame which can leave you feeling empty and maybe even broken in the end, focus on becoming the person who would rightfully have the things that you dream about.

As Og Mandino writes: "... I am prepared for wisdom and principles which will guide me out of the shadows into the sunlight of wealth, position, and happiness far beyond my most extravagant dreams until even the golden apples in the Garden of Hesperides will seem no more than my just reward."

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Breaking Free - Achieving Your Goals

Don't just SET goals, ACHIEVE them!

So many people have given up on goal setting. It doesn't seem to work for them. Even "goal-oriented" people are often frustrated by their goals. But for years, the gurus have told you things like:

• "Set S.M.A.R.T. goals (specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and timely). It's a sure-fire way to achieve them."
• "Put pictures of your dream house, your dream car, your dream job all over your bathroom mirror and places where you'll see them every day."

Here's the problem with some of these techniques... they have created an epidemic of people who are unfulfilled, frustrated and dissatisfied with their own performance and success. Goals are supposed to motivate and inspire you, not make you feel hopeless, helpless or like a failure.

You are Brilliant! (Yes, I'm talking to YOU)

I'm reading a great book called Aspire! Discovering Your Purpose Through the Power of Words. I recommend it to everyone reading this newsletter. (Click here to purchase it on Amazon.) In this book, it talks about the word "genius". Did you know that you were a genius? YOU ARE!! The word genius comes from the Latin word "genuinus" which means what you were naturally born with. The orignial word meant "guardian deity or spirit which watches over each person from birth; spirit, incarnation, wit, talent". Genius is nothing more than being true to YOU. It's about being genuine and true to your natural talents. It's about unleashing your brilliance.

Why the frustration?

But, when we set goals, we usually do it backwards. (No wonder it's frustrating!) The vast majority of the gurus assume there is no real difference between skills (which can be acquired) and talents or natural strengths (which you are gifted with at birth). Many gurus think that natural talents can be developed through learning, training, and discipline. They fail to appreciate and acknowledge what neuroscience tells us - YOU are born with fixed, deeply-ingrained neural pathways and networks that control your natural talents. When you fail to see the difference between natural talents and learned skills, you make the bad assumption that both can be equally acquired.

Read more by clicking here.

Breaking Free - Peace on Earth

It's that time of year when you hear a lot of good tidings. "Happy Holidays" "Merry Christmas" "Season's Greetings" "Joy to the World" "Happy Hanukkah" And the one good tiding that I want to talk about is "Peace". Do you ever find yourself wishing for more "peace"?

This topic has been on my mind lately because my clients have consistently mentioned it when talking about what the coaching program has meant to them. I'm not saying this to toot my own horn, but listen to what they have to say:

Teresa said, "All I can say is "WOW!" That person on the team who drove me over the edge - 6 Advisors coaching gave me the tools to solve. The beating my head against the wall because nobody would give the project the same priority - 6 Advisors coaching gave me the tools to solve. Those roadblocks that occur again and again in my projects - 6 Advisors coaching gave me the tools to solve."

Then Karla said, "Working with Traci on this program has allowed me to refocus on my purpose and reduce the emotional 'noise' that was preventing me from being successful."

And Szymon said this about the coaching program, "Unexpectedly, I have discovered that no matter what thought you are thinking or emotions you are feeling, they cannot harm your soul. To be able to realize that nothing can harm you is the most empowering result I have experienced. I hope that everyone comes to realize this in some way. Most importantly, my relationship with God has improved and I know He is helping me along the way."

It's through comments and recommendations like this that I realize I'm in the "peace on earth" business. So, now I ask myself how can I, in this time of peace, joy and happiness, help you to find your piece of peace?

What is peace?

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Breaking Free - The Stories THEY Tell Us

The last 2 newsletters I've written have been about the stories the WE tell others and the stories that we tell ourselves. This month I'm going to discuss the stories that others tell us.

As I talk with my clients, I am shocked with how many believe and take to heart the things that others say about them. I know, we as humans value other people and their opinions of us. You try to please other people and live up to their beliefs often at your own expense. Are you a "people-pleaser"? Even if you spout off saying "I don't care what anyone else thinks" (like some teenagers do), it's simply human nature to care. And, chances are there is at least one other person whose opinion of you that you care about. That person may be your spouse or your kids... your boss or your peers... your fellow church-goers or your poker buddies. So what stories are they telling you about you?

Your Beliefs Control Your Destiny

The belief you have in yourself determines everything that you do. Yet many times, you didn't come to that belief yourself. The belief that you have in what you can and cannot do, who you can and cannot be, came from others... your teachers, coaches, parents, pastors, bosses, peers, even the bullies from school. These folks have told you stories about you and you unconsciously believed them.

You may have heard the story of the young man who fell asleep in his math class. He woke up as the bell rang, looked up at the blackboard, and copied down the two problems that were written there. He assumed they were the homework for the night. He went home and labored the rest of the afternoon and into the evening knowing if he didn't complete the work he would surely fail the class. He couldn't figure out either one but he kept trying for the rest of the week. Finally, he got the answer to one and brought it to class. The teacher was absolutely stunned. The boy feared he had done too little, too late. It turned out the problem he solved was supposedly unsolvable.

How did he do it? He was able to do what was thought to be impossible because he believed it was possible. He not only believed it was possible, he believed that if he didn't solve it he would fail the class. Had he known the problem was "unsolvable" he could never have done it.

Have you looked at your beliefs about you lately?

Read more at http://www.breakfreeconsulting.com/newsletter/200911-stories3.htm

Breaking Free - The Stories We Tell (Part 2)

Last month's newsletter was about the stories that we tell to ourselves in our own minds. This month we're going to discuss the stories we tell others. Studies show that people think and learn in stories yet many still try to explain things in logical steps. Do you? Do you try to lead by telling and instructing or storytelling?

Some of you may know that I earned a B.S. degree in Chemistry but many of you don't know why. As a matter of fact, many of you may wonder why anyone would want to major in Chemistry. Well, there's a story behind that.

Teaching Through Stories

In high school, I had a science teacher who didn't just talk to us about memorizing the periodic table or ionic bonds and electrons. He used 'stories' to teach us the basics of chemistry. For instance, instead of just learning the principles of nuclear fission, our science teacher taught us how nuclear reactors were constructed. He taught us what those big towers were used for and how it was a safe and reliable way to produce energy. He taught us through chemistry how the TV, the refrigerator and many other every day items worked. (And of course, he let us blow things up in a controlled environment.)

For instance, he told us about the electrons from the cathode ray tube and how there was a focusing anode that pulled and directed these electrons into a tight beam. This tight, high-speed beam of electrons flies through the vacuum in the tube and hits the flat screen at the other end of the tube. In order to control where the beam lands, steering coils are used to create a magnetic field. If you ever looked inside a TV you'd see 2 sets of coils, one that controls the horizontal motion of the beam and one the controls the vertical motion. (Do any of you remember turning those wheel-like buttons on your TV to stop your picture from rolling?) By controlling the voltages in the coils, you can position the electron beam at any point on the screen. The beam paints every other line as it moves down the screen -- for example, every odd-numbered line. Then, the next time it moves down the screen it paints the even-numbered lines, alternating back and forth between even-numbered and odd-numbered lines on each pass. The entire screen, in two passes, is painted 30 times every second. (It happens so fast, your eyes and brain can't even tell that it's happening.) The screen is coated with phosphor, which emits visible light when struck by the beam. In a color screen, there are three phosphors arranged as dots or stripes that emit red, green and blue light. (Our science teacher told me to go look real close at our TV and I would see a whole host of red, green and blue dots.) The electrons falling back to their normal state are what emits the color of light. From those 3 colors (RGB), every color on your TV is created. The story was amazing to me!

Read more at http://www.breakfreeconsulting.com/newsletter/200910-stories2.htm

Breaking Free - The Stories We Tell (part 1)

Have you ever done something that you didn't really mean to do? Have you ever reacted negatively and then later thought "Why did I do that?" Have you ever told yourself that "From now on I'm going to..." and then didn't keep the promise to yourself or others? Have you ever reacted to someone only to later find out you didn't have the whole story?

Let's use an example that you may have had or at least seen in the past... You're driving along in traffic, keeping a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, when out of nowhere a car zips up beside you and swerves into the "safe distance" space between you and the car in front of you. This caused you to put on your brakes and re-establish your safe distance.

In that moment, what did you do? Did you cuss, call the person an idiot, or worse? Did you honk your horn? Are you now tailgating the 'idiot' to somehow get back at them? Did your hand fly up into the air with only 4 of your 5 fingers in a fist?

Your Every Day Boogie Man

What just happened? You may say, "That person was driving like a maniac and cut me off!!! Someone could've been killed!" I have a question... did you react to a truly terrifying and threatening event? Is the above statement accurate? In most cases, probably not. You sort of thought they might cut you off as you saw them racing up in your rearview or side mirror so you really had plenty of time to slow down. (In some cases, you may have actually tried to speed up so that they wouldn't cut in, right?) So, why all the drama? I can tell you why. Because in this incident as well as many others throughout your day, you are NOT reacting to reality; you are reacting to a fairy tale. This fairy tale is a story that your mind quickly (within milliseconds) created to make 'sense' of what it just perceived. You told yourself a story - maybe it was about right and wrong or what should or should not happen. Your reaction wasn't based on a near tragic collision; it was based on a fairy tale... a story.

Your reaction to this story is not unlike my reaction to the boogie man when the lights went out in my bedroom as a little girl. My mind would tell me that he was under my bed or in my closet. Sometimes the story that I told myself made me get all the way under my covers so that I could seal him out. You know, because the boogie man, in my mind, wouldn't be able to lift up my blanket, right?

Real Logic

To read more, go to http://www.breakfreeconsulting.com/newsletter/200909-stories1.htm.

Breaking Free - Lessons from the Loser's Bracket

At the end of July 2009, I had the honor of umpiring the 10 year-old bracket of the Texas East State Little League Championships. I know, you may be thinking (as did one of the 10 year-old participants), "I never saw a girl umpire before." But it's really true. See, there's a picture of me with the rest of my crew. --->

One of the things about umpiring is you learn something new every game. In this newsletter, I wanted to share some of the wisdom that I learned from the coaches and managers in the loser's bracket of the tournament. Now, this isn't going to be just about baseball, but the wisdom and lessons that can be applied to your leadership skills.

But first let me explain the "loser's bracket". At Texas East State, the tournament is run as a double elimination between four sectional champions... that means that you have to lose twice before you are eliminated and have to go home. If your team happens to lose one game, you are placed in what is called the "loser's bracket" until you lose a second time. Got it?

One of the unique aspects of being an umpire is that you always have one of the best seats in the house for observing the game. I take advantage of this opportunity to see how the coaches coach and lead their teams. Below are just a few of the "words of wisdom" that I heard a couple of weekends ago.

"Don't Swing at Nothin' Ugly"

Ok, in baseball, that means don't chase any bad pitches. Have you swung at something ugly? Have you chased any bad pitches lately? These could be bad pitches or offers from others or just bad ideas or expectations that you come up with on your own. In my work, I often find folks who are chasing bad pitches over and over again. They are either always trying to please others or trying to be perfect. Which 'bad pitch' do you often swing at?

Read the rest of the newsletter at http://www.breakfreeconsulting.com/newsletter/200908-losersbracket.htm.

Breaking Free - Claim Your Freedom

Last weekend, America celebrated her freedom on Independence Day. This event got me to thinking about our personal freedoms and how precious this gift is to us. But how many of us that live in free countries actually take advantage of that freedom?

As I speak to many people all over the globe, I am realizing that it is individuals who choose to keep themselves bound by not making good choices or knowing that they have choices to make.

Let's look at your last performance review. If it is like most reviews, your supervisor will sit down with you and go over the areas of improvement. Sure, some will tell you what they think you are doing well, but in the end, your development plan will be based upon your weaknesses and how to fix or improve them.

"Down on the Farm"

If you'll bear with me, I have a short story I'd like to tell you. There once was this puppy named Sparky who was born on a large, beautiful farm. There were acres and acres of fields, a forest with trees and large rocks, a stream that flowed through the pastures, a large barn and farmhouse... everything you'd want on a farm. As the puppy grew up, she was encouraged to explore the different areas of the farm. At first, the Sparky wasn't allowed to stray too far from the farmhouse and barn, but later she had the full run of farm grounds. It was fantastic! She was free! Free to explore and grow, run and jump, climb and dig. She learned a lot of excellent dog skills and was a natural at many of them. Then, her owners taught her how to catch balls and Frisbees. She became a fine retriever as she learned how to 'mark' (watch for falling targets that she will later retrieve) and perform blind retrieves (where she has to rely on her owner to tell her where the target is located using a whistle and hand signals). She sure was good at this... maybe even one of the best. Retrieving made her happy; she seemed passionate about it. She was successful, still free to roam all over the farm, and loved to watch her owners take pride in her abilities.

Then, one day, Sparky's cousin pointed out that there was a fence that went all the way around the farm. He told her that if she really wanted to be successful, she'd find a away to get to the other side of the fence. For the first time, Sparky noticed the fence that went all the way around her incredible farm. It seemed to go on forever. Hmmm, she wondered... what was this? A barrier? Sparky became engrossed in the fence. Instead of practicing her retrieving and other skills, she would run off every morning and look for ways to get over, under or around the fence. She studied the fence (would've taken classes on the fence if she wasn't a dog.) She spent days trying to jump over it... weeks, trying to dig under it... months, trying to run around it. She didn't want to retrieve any more as she was determined to overcome this obstacle. Finally after years of trying, when she couldn't find a way to triumph over the fence, she resigned herself to being a old farm dog. She didn't even want to retrieve any more. And retrieving just didn't seem to be as fun, especially knowing that she failed at overcoming the fence.

Freedom is in your strengths

To read the rest, please go to: http://www.breakfreeconsulting.com/newsletter/200907-freedom.htm

Breaking Free - Going Green with Your Team, June 2009

(Side note: For those of you who think global warming and going green is a hoax of some sort - keep reading. This isn't what you may think.)

Are you a leader? Some folks believe everyone is a leader in one way or another. You may lead a multi-national organization or a team at work. You may lead a business unit or a pack of scouts. You may lead a volunteer organization or just be "mom" or "dad". In any case, you are a leader.

Did you know that one of your primary jobs as a leader is to GO GREEN? After all, it is the latest and greatest initiative. You see if everywhere. Every day there seems to be a new study on how to be more and more "green". One study says to change all your light bulbs to those twisty compact fluorescent ones to save the planet. Another says that there's mercury in those twisty light bulbs that will destroy the planet. Hybrid cars will save fossil fuels, except that the lithium batteries are manufactured and transported using a process that requires far more fossil fuels than the batteries will ever save. What are we to believe? Everyone is jumping on the band wagon, but I'm not sure where it is going. No matter which side you believe, please read on...

I believe that I have a sure fire way to change and "go green" as a leader (without much controversy). Now, I don't mean that you'll lead in the dark because you've turned off your lights. Going green isn't simply about conserving energy and preserving the planet. Going GREEN is about being a good steward of resources... not just fossil fuels and other resources from Mother Earth, but more importantly it is about being a good steward of your organizational energy and the resources within the people that you lead.

Read more at: Breaking Free - Going Green with Your Team, June 2009

Let's talk MILLIONS, BILLIONS and TRILLIONS

Which is greater $1 trillion or $990 billion?

Ok, most of you reading this blog know that $1 trillion is $10 billion dollars more than $990 billion. But, which number LOOKS bigger when it's spelled out like that?!?

When most people hear millions, billions, trillions, their eyes glaze over. Those numbers are really too big for most people to think about. So, I was thinking... how can we help others to understand?

Here are some options I came up with to resolve these issues and allow the American people to be truly educated and informed:

1. I think news media should be required to spell it out. When the government talks about a $1 trillion dollar deficit, they should be required to write out $1,000,000,000,000.00 so that people can see all the zeros. So, now when you say that you are cutting $56 million from the $1 trillion dollar deficit it would look like this:

   1,000,000,000,000

   - _____56,000,000

   999,944,000,000

2. Or, the government budget offices should be required to use analogies so that the common folk could understand and see it as it is... their money. In the above example, they could have us imagine that we were making $50,000 per year and the drastic cuts that the government is talking about would amount to you cutting $0.30 from your spending... or a person making $100,000 scraping together a way of saving $0.60.

Well, I don't think the government or media will be honest with us. So how about each of you doing your part? When numbers come out from Congress or the White House, let's all try to break it down to numbers that we can wrap our heads around.

If you're a visual person, check out this short YouTube video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cWt8hTayupE.

Change & Beliefs

Every day I have the opportunity to meet someone new. Lately I have met so many terrific people. I am constantly amazed and excited to see the seeds of greatness within them. Their potential is so evident not just to me but to all who know them... "All" usually meaning everyone but them.

For example, someone I know very well once believed that she wasn't a good speaker / presenter. For decades, she dreaded any situation that involved standing in front of even 5 people and talking. It was a deeply held belief which was totally and only supported by her thoughts and emotions. There was no real empirical evidence to support this belief. In fact, to others she was a fantastic speaker.

Today if you check out her LinkedIn profile you'll see over 50 recommendations for her speaking abilities alone. Statements like: "Traci is a dynamic and engaging speaker / presenter..." and "Traci's presentation at the American Society for Training and Development (ASTD) in Houston was the highlight of their 2008 EXPO. She established rapport and gained immediate credibility with her humor and in-depth knowledge of her subject. We were educated and entertained! What else can you ask for?"

Ok, yes, that person I know very well is me. You wouldn't know it now, but my beliefs were my beliefs and no matter what others said, I didn't believe them. No one could convince me to change my beliefs except for ME. But how do you convince yourself to do that?

Do you ever question your beliefs?

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Six Ways to Boost Brainpower: Scientific American

Six Ways to Boost Brainpower: Scientific American

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Rights vs. Entitlements

Definition of Entitlements: A government program that guarantees and provides benefits to a particular group.

Definition of Rights: that which is due to anyone by just claim, legal guarantees, moral principles, etc.

It seems as though many in America believe that these are one and the same, but in fact, they are not.

Many of you know that I study and teach axiology - the science of human value and value judgments. Axiology provides a logical structure for valuing and has 3 classes or dimensions of value into which everything can fall.

The least valuable (mathematically) is systemic. Systemic value involves mental constructs and things that only exist in our minds. They are intangible like rules, policies, plans, ideas and expectations. Examples are a circle, the speed limit, a marketing plan, a law, a regulation.

Infinitely more valuable than the systemic is the Extrinsic. Extrinsic value involves tangible things. So, when a plan is implemented and something is created that's extrinsic. When a law is enforced and action is taken that 'doing' is extrinsic in nature.

Infinitely more valuable than the extrinsic is the Intrinsic dimension of value. Intrinsic value and valuation is around the infinitely valuable. Examples are one of a kind, incomparable things... i.e. human beings, freedom, compassion, community.

Why do I mention these classes of value? Because when we as human beings transpose one type of value onto an item in another class it can be dangerous. That is what seems to be happening with rights and entitlements. Rights are intrinsic while entitlements are systemic!! Many are being told that their entitlements are their rights. Rights are inalienable; entitlements are imposed. They are transposing the highest form of value (intrinsic) onto something that is systemic and a member of the lowest class of value.

Here's another example: Let's say that you are married to the love of your life - that's intrinsic! However, if you decided to value your spouse based on whether he/she followed your rules and lived up to all of your expectations, not only would you be very disappointed, but, by comparing your one-of-a-kind spouse to your ideas or to another, you are infinitely devaluing them. (Now you know why they get so mad at you.)

That is exactly what is happening when our government, the media, and others transpose systemic value to "rights". We are devaluing HUMAN BEINGS.

On 10 December 1948, the General Assembly of the United Nations adopted and proclaimed the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, let's take a look at some these:

• All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights.
• Everyone is entitled to all the rights and freedoms set forth in this Declaration, without distinction of any kind, such as race, colour, sex, language, religion, political or other opinion, national or social origin, property, birth or other status.
• Everyone has the right to life, liberty and security of person.
• Everyone has the right to recognition everywhere as a person before the law.
• Everyone has the right to own property alone as well as in association with others.
• Everyone has the right to freedom of opinion and expression; this right includes freedom to hold opinions without interference and to seek, receive and impart information and ideas through any media and regardless of frontiers.
• Everyone has the right to freedom of thought, conscience and religion; this right includes freedom to change his religion or belief, and freedom, either alone or in community with others and in public or private, to manifest his religion or belief in teaching, practice, worship and observance.
• Everyone has the right to freedom of peaceful assembly and association.

The above seem to be true rights and freedoms.

However, there are other "rights" in this declaration that are entitlements. Look at these ones:

• Everyone has the right to a standard of living adequate for the health and well-being of himself and of his family, including food, clothing, housing and medical care and necessary social services, and the right to security in the event of unemployment, sickness, disability, widowhood, old age or other lack of livelihood in circumstances beyond his control.
• Everyone has the right to education. Education shall be free, at least in the elementary and fundamental stages. Elementary education shall be compulsory. Technical and professional education shall be made generally available and higher education shall be equally accessible to all on the basis of merit.
• Everyone has the right to work, to free choice of employment, to just and favourable conditions of work and to protection against unemployment.
• Everyone has the right to form and to join trade unions for the protection of his interests.

(You may notice a little influence from FDR in this second list.) Can you see the difference between the first list and the second?

You see, the first list is about freedom from systemic governing bodies. It is about rights which are not conferred on man by man and cannot be denied by to man by man. Rights are inalienable and divinely bestowed. The Founding Fathers of the US were trying to curtail government intervention into human lives when they wrote the Declaration of Independence, Bill of Rights and Constitution.

The second list is about entitlements. Entitlements are 'governmentally' bestowed by taking from others and giving to some. The government can not give away "protection against unemployment", "a standard of living", "education", "security" unless it takes away something from others. The (systemic) government doesn't have these things without the (intrinsic) human beings.

If we continue to view the government as the answer, we will continue to devalue the human beings that make up this fantastic country. If we truly believe what are President said earlier this year at George Mason University that "It is true that we cannot depend on government alone to create jobs or long-term growth. But at this particular moment, only government can provide the short-term boost necessary to lift us from a recession this deep and severe." then we are believing that the idea of a circle is more valuable than a human being.

If we believe that the laws and rules of government are the answer, WE are devaluing the very things that this country was created for... life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

Come Together: Our Need to Cooperate: Scientific American

Come Together: Our Need to Cooperate: Scientific American

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Thoughts to Tea Party and other protesting participants

A few days ago on April 15, 2009, thousands and thousands of people in the United States had a "tea party" in cities all around the country. Some said TEA was an acronym for Taxed Enough Already. The basic message was one of great skepticism about the government's remedies to the current economic "crisis". Sure, there were extremists out there, but most of the folks I know who participated were just your "normal" Americans... hard-working, family-oriented, community-minded people who are shocked at the government's response. They see that this our federal government is utilizing the financial strategies from Bernie Madoff and that somehow we can borrow our way out of debt. The US citizens see themselves as the victims of a ponzie scheme far bigger than Bernie could ever imagine.

But I have a message to all of the party-goers and protesters... protest, cry out, have your voices be heard and then PLEASE, PLEASE go out and SUCCEED anyway.

Despite the wrongdoings you rise up against, be innovative, persistent, courageous and principled in adding value to the world. YOU ARE NOT VICTIMS!

You are Americans and still amongst the freest human beings on this planet. Remember that former first lady, Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your permission." In the same vain, no one can make you feel like a victim without your permission.

Oh sure, you can be victimized, but you don't have to feel like a victim. Much in the same way that you can fail and not be or feel like a failure.

You have been heard, now utilize your energy to become successful. Add value to this earth by solving problems and finding opportunities. As long as you are free, you can find them! and you can conquer these challenges. Continue to protect liberty by going out and creating jobs for your neighbors - you can do that by understanding what people need most and delivering it to them.

Sure, I believe our conditions could be better, but instead of just protesting, let's make sure we DO something about it. As I've written before, we could be freer. However, that just means that we can't waste the incredible gift of freedom that we do have. We must keep moving forward!

So, to you tea partiers and protesters, please don't allow your emotions to derail you... don't allow circumstances to discourage you. Keep standing up for what you believe but don't let it consume you. Go out and be the best you that you can possibly be and build something, create something of value. Don't just point out the problems, become the solutions.

Pssst: Gossip hurts--but friends can protect you from the worst of it: Scientific American Blog

Pssst: Gossip hurts--but friends can protect you from the worst of it: Scientific American Blog Posted using ShareThis

Thermostat or Thermometer?

In life, change is either created by you or happens to you. Yet, your response to change is ALWAYS your choice. So the majority of the time, do you affect change or does change affect you?

Are you typically a thermostat or a thermometer?

or

What's the Difference?

Thermostats set the temperature of the environment while thermometers react to the environment.

As a leader, which best describes you most of the time? Are you mostly in control and being the thermostat? Are you allowing your boss, your circumstances or even your followers to set the temperature on your thermometer?

There are some leaders who don't want to 'rock the boat'. They spend most of their time polling their team members and their management. They are interested in pleasing others. If you were sitting next to them in church, you might over hear them talk to the person on their left who say, "Boy, it's cold in here today," "It sure is", would be their response. The person on their right might then turn and whisper to them, "My, my, it's warm in here today." They would respond by saying, "It sure is."

These leaders respond as thermometers. Someone, something, or some expectation is setting the temperature for them. Some are cold and distant because of circumstances and they choose to be closed and fearful. Others are hot and blistering because they believe that their circumstances warrant their anger and ire.

Living as a thermometer can leave you feeling frustrated, distant, or overwhelmed because your mind tells you that you "must", you "have to", you "need to" respond to the changing temperature in your life. What are the things that you believe that you "have to" do? (Go to work? Pick up the kids? Go to church? Do the laundry?) If your habit is to feel obligated and your mind gives you thoughts that you "have to", "should", or "must", you are a thermometer to your own thinking habits. These are just thought habits, however, that have been created in your mind which you are choosing to respond to and believe.

To read more, go to http://www.breakfreeconsulting.com/newsletter/200904-thermometer.htm.

How Conflicts Escalate: Overreacting to Perceived Slights: Scientific American

Here's an interesting article on how people punish one another for stinginess more than they reward for generosity. It only takes a minute or two to read and could give you something new to think about...
How Conflicts Escalate: Overreacting to Perceived Slights: Scientific American

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Let's change the standard definition of P.C.

To many people here in the US, P.C. means 'political correctness'. Personally, I don't believe there is anything political or correct about it. I mean, if we call a turd a flower, does it really make it a flower?

Political means 'of, pertaining to, or involving the state or its government' or 'pertaining to the art or science of government or governing' or even 'the methods or tactics involved in managing a state or government'. (Please note it says 'managing a government' NOT manipulating the population.)

Correctness means having the properties of being correct. And being correct means that it is 'right' or 'free from error or fault; true or accurate'.

Yet, somehow when we pull these two words together we get something totally different. The American Heritage Dictionary defines the 2 words together as 'avoidance of expressions or actions that can be perceived to exclude or marginalize or insult people who are socially disadvantaged or discriminated against'.

Huh? From the first two definitions, being politically correct would mean governing by what is right, accurate and true. I don't see anywhere in those definitions where political or correctness means that no one ever in this world should ever be even marginally offended or insulted.

Let's examine what I think P.C. really means...

Being P.C. really means 'Patronizing Censorship'. It really tells people that they are inferior because they can't handle someone's opinion of them. So, we should reword or censor all of our statements in a manner that doesn't hurt their feelings. Really? Are we Americans a bunch of spineless babies who can't handle someone talking negatively about us any more? Must we truly limit our freedom of speech because someone chooses to be offended by them?

P.C. also means 'Preplanned Compliance'. This makes us feel like we have to 'walk on eggshells' and avoid spontaneity. Lord knows, if we happened to slip up and say what we really meant, we would fall out of compliance and be slapped with heavy fines and penalties. We wouldn't ever want to hear another person's unrehearsed, unadulterated opinion or experiences. That would be such a tragedy. (Yes, you are detecting a note of sarcasm there. Oh, wait, is sarcasm politically correct?)

Being P.C. actually 'Promotes Corruption'. It tells people that it is acceptable to be dishonest and even encourages them to lack or push aside their integrity. They are not allowed to be true to themselves and their thoughts because in doing so they might possibly offend someone. Instead, we have to massage our message so that we don't say what we truly mean but instead what others want to hear. (No wonder so many people feel unheard and isolated in our society.)

P.C. causes us to treat each other like 'Purposeless Caricatures'. It makes us somehow feel like we aren't real live people with hearts, minds, and souls. Instead we are aimless pawns that need 'their' rules, policies and procedures so that we might properly navigate the game board of life.

Most of all, PC translates to 'Paralyzes Communication'. It limits our freedom of speech and keeps us from fully expressing ourselves. Following the rules of P.C. tells us that our thoughts, ideas, and opinions don't matter unless they fit into 'their' Prescribed Conditions. And when our thoughts, ideas and opinions don't matter, our humanness doesn't matter.

I say we redefine this acronym!

Let's have P.C.'s definition be 'Personal Choice'. Let's allow ourselves to have the freedom of speech that the First Amendment guarantees. Our founding fathers and many others have DIED for this right. Now, our society has somehow made it the standard, or should I say, made it politically correct, for this right to be taken away from us.

Let's have P.C. stand for 'Practical Confidence'. Let's not be so confident that we are cocky and self-righteous. Let's be realistic about who we are and let's be confident and sure that we are and are becoming whom we were created to become. It is not arrogant to make claims of superiority when you ARE superior in

How about 'Principled Constitution'? And by that I mean our personal constitution or make up. Let's raise our next generation of children to have a solid human foundation... to believe in themselves; to be self-accepting, self-assured, broad-minded and big-hearted. Let's teach them to 'Promote Charity', 'Provide Comfort', 'Promote Community', Praise Cultural differences and Publicly Consider and debate our differing ideas. Let's teach them that...

"It's not what you are called, but what you answer to that matters!!"

Les Brown once told a teacher that he was EMR (educable mentally retarded) and couldn't do what the teacher had asked. 'They' had labeled him. His teacher, Mr. Washington, then said something to Les that changed his life...

"Someone's opinion of you does NOT have to become YOUR reality."

When someones says something negative, derogatory or demeaning about your race, gender, sexual orientation, religion, class, geography or ecology, it does NOT have to become YOUR reality. YOU control your destiny. If one door is closed to you, find a way to open it or go find or make another door. You have the Power to Choose!

Eleanor Roosevelt once said,

"No one can make you feel inferior without your permission."

If each one of us truly and deeply believed that, there would be no need for Political Correctness which Paralyzes Communication and isolates us, and dare I say, segregates us one from another. In fact, no one can make you feel anything without your permission... no one can make your feel offended without your permission. No one can make you feel humiliated without your permission. No one can make you feel victimized without your permission.

While we may not choose our circumstances... We DO choose our reactions to our circumstances. That is what differentiates us from every other living creature on the planet. Even in the most tragic of conditions, we can choose our response. That is what makes us human. Political Correctness leads us to believe that we don't have that ability.

Political Correctness perpetuates FEAR. The only way to overcome it is through LOVE. You CAN love people and still be politically incorrect. These 2 things are NOT mutually exclusive although 'they' (the promoters of political correctness) would like you to think so.

Let's work to bring the different cultures, different religions, and different people of this great nation together!! Let's stop the divisiveness of Political Correctness. Let's not allow the very characteristics that makes us great to tear us apart.

Let's get rid of political correctness and replace it with Principled Constitution, Practical Confidence and Personal Choice. That, my friends, will allow us to overcome this fabricated fear and live together in liberty and love.

(Republished from 2 years ago because it has a lot of relevance to today.)