Upcoming Speaking Engagements

I'd like to invite you to attend any of my upcoming speaking engagements:

Date (2009)	Location	Time	Organization
Feb 10	Rochester, NY	6:00 - 8:00 p.m.	PMI Rochester Chapter Meeting
Feb 17	Syracuse, NY	5:30 - 8:00 p.m.	PMI Syracuse Chapter Meeting
Feb 18	Buffalo, NY	11:30 - 1:00 p.m.	PMI Buffalo Lunch Seminar
Mar 2	New York City, NY	5:30 - 7:30 p.m.	PMI NYC Career Development Network
Mar 10	Westchester, NY	5:30 - 7:30 p.m.	PMI Westchester Chapter Meeting
Mar 18	Baton Rouge, LA	5:30 - 7:30 p.m.	PMI Baton Rouge Chapter Meeting
Mar 19	New Orleans, LA	5:30 - 7:30 p.m.	PMI Greater New Orleans Chapter Meeting
Apr 9	College Station, TX	11:30 - 1:30 p.m.	ASTD Brazos Valley Chapter Meeting
Apr 16	Oklahoma City, OK	11:30 - 1:00 p.m.	PMI Oklahoma City Chapter Meeting
Apr 21	Morristown, NJ	5:30 - 9:00 p.m.	PMI New Jersey Chapter Meeting
Apr 23	Appleton, WI	8:30 - 9:30 a.m.	PMI Northeast Wisconsin Keynote Address
May 13	Kitchener, Ontario, Canada	5:30 - 9:00 p.m.	PMI Canada’s Technology Triangle
May 18-20	Amsterdam, Netherlands	TBD	PMI EMEA Global Congress
May 28	Thousand Oaks, CA	5:15 - 9:00 p.m.	PMI Los Padres Chapter Meeting

Resolutions and Change

Congratulations!! You've made it to a New Year! This is the time of year when you may be reminiscing about 2008 and making plans for 2009. This can be both exciting and frustrating.

Have you made any resolutions? Resolutions are all about change. I like to think of it as being all about GROWTH. (Change is more difficult and sometimes feared, where as growth is a natural process of living.)

Have you struggled with your resolutions in the past? If so, we'll take a look at change (growth) together in this newsletter and hopefully, you'll be able to implement the steps needed at the end to realize your potential in 2009. Let's get started...

++ Change is Hard!

I bet you already knew that change was hard but I bet you don't know just how hard it is.

Change or Die

What if that was your choice for 2009? Really. I'm not joking here. What if you had to change or you died? I'm talking about life and death - YOUR life or death. What if a super-smart, trusted authority figure approached you and said you had to make difficult and permanent changes in the way you think and act or your life would end soon, would you be able to do it?

"Yes", you say?

Really? Try again.

"Yes!!", you say with more emphasis as if I didn't hear you the first time.

The truth is you are probably deluding yourself. You wouldn't change. Not if it was too uncomfortable or difficult.

Don't believe me? Let's look at the statistics:

Let's look at patients with severe heart disease who have undergone coronary bypass surgery, a traumatic and expensive procedure that can cost more than $100,000 if complications arise. About 600,000 people go through this procedure every year in the United States and another 1.3 million patients have angioplasties - all at a cost of about $30 billion. These procedures temporarily relive chest pains but rarely prolong lives or prevent future heart attacks. Many patients could AVOID the need for repeat surgery or repeat chest pain - not to mention changing the course of their disease and adding years to their lives - simply by switching to a healthier lifestyle. Yet, very few do. Their lives are at significantly greater risk unless they exercise and lose weight, and they clearly see the value of changing their behavior. But, after just two years, over 90% of them don’t follow through. Even though they know they have a very bad disease and they know they should change their lifestyle habits, for whatever reason, they don't.

There are people in the legislative and executive branches of the US government who preach about improving healthcare in the US. Yet, for the last 50 years, even with all the advances in technology and medical care, the US is still plagued by the same five issues that it had back in the 1950's. Eighty percent (80%) of the healthcare budget in the US - estimated to be $2.4 TRILLION dollars annually = 15% of our economy = over 50% of the US Federal Budget (minus the bailout money) - is spent on these five issues.

If you could change these 5 problems, you would solve all of the healthcare issues here in the US. That's amazing, isn't it. So, what are these 5 issues? They are all behavioral and VERY preventable...

• Too much smoking
• Too much drinking (alcoholic beverages)
• Too much eating (including high calorie beverages)
• Too much stress
• Not enough exercise

Have you ever tried to change any of these things in your life? Are any of these things on your list of changes (again) for 2009?

++ Change is Pain!

To read more, click here.

Great Expectations for 2009: Scientific American Podcast

Multiple experiments by Duke University professor Dan Ariely reveal how our expectations hugely influence our decisions, and ultimately, our experiences.

Well maybe consider Duke professor Dan Ariely’s book, Predictably Irrational, in which he describes how our expectations can hugely affect our decisions.

Listen to this 60 second podcast by clicking here.

Happy New Year!!!

Upcoming Speaking Engagements

I'd like to invite you to attend any of my upcoming speaking engagements:

Date (2009)	Location	Time	Organization
Jan 13	Houston, TX	6:30 - 8:00 p.m.	PMI Houston North Chapter Meeting
Jan 14	Houston, TX	6:30 - 8:00 p.m.	PMI Houston Galleria Chapter Meeting
Feb 10	Rochester, NY	6:00 - 8:00 p.m.	PMI Rochester Chapter Meeting
Feb 17	Syracuse, NY	5:30 - 8:00 p.m.	PMI Syracuse Chapter Meeting
Feb 18	Buffalo, NY	11:30 - 1:00 p.m.	PMI Buffalo Lunch Seminar
Mar 2	New York City, NY	5:30 - 7:30 p.m.	PMI NYC Career Development Network
Mar 10	Westchester, NY	5:30 - 7:30 p.m.	PMI Westchester Chapter Meeting
Mar 18	Baton Rouge, LA	5:30 - 7:30 p.m.	PMI Baton Rouge Chapter Meeting
Mar 19	New Orleans, LA	5:30 - 7:30 p.m.	PMI Greater New Orleans Chapter Meeting
Apr 9	College Station, TX	11:30 - 1:30 p.m.	ASTD Brazos Valley Chapter Meeting
Apr 16	Oklahoma City, OK	11:30 - 1:00 p.m.	PMI Oklahoma City Chapter Meeting
Apr 21	Morristown, NJ	5:30 - 9:00 p.m.	PMI New Jersey Chapter Meeting
Apr 23	Appleton, WI	8:30 - 9:30 a.m.	PMI Northeast Wisconsin Keynote Address
May 13	Kitchener, Ontario, Canada	5:30 - 9:00 p.m.	PMI Canada’s Technology Triangle
May 18-20	Amsterdam, Netherlands	TBD	PMI EMEA Global Congress
May 28	Thousand Oaks, CA	5:15 - 9:00 p.m.	PMI Los Padres Chapter Meeting

Intrinsically Valuing YOU

Do you ever think about your intrinsic, infinite value? In today's world, you are taught from a very young age that your value isn't in WHO you are but it is in WHAT you do and HOW you behave.

In elementary school you are first taught all the rules... don't cut in line, don't write on the walls, don't put gum in Suzie's hair. Then, you are taught reading, writing and arithmetic and graded on how well you learned it. You are measured almost every day in school with tests, quizzes and homework. Are you ever taught about the value of people? Is it any wonder that you only see your systemic and extrinsic value?

Come to think of it, how do you even know that you are intrinsically valuable? Are you priceless and irreplaceable?

I tell a story at some of my speaking engagements... Those of you who are over 25 y.o. may remember the story of Baby Jessica. Baby Jessica was 18 months old when she was playing in the backyard of her aunt's house in Midland, Texas. Her aunt went into the house to answer the phone. When she came back moments later, the other children she was babysitting were looking down the casing of an abandoned well. As we later found out, Jessica was wedged in the 8-inch wide pipe 22 feet down. For 58 hours, the world watched as an estimated 450 volunteers tried to rescue 'Baby Jessica'. Drillers, miners and volunteers from as far away as Albuquerque, N.M. selflessly dropped everything and rushed to where their skills were needed.

Why? Why were so many people involved in the rescue of one little baby girl? Can you imagine how much money was spent drilling that parallel shaft and then trying to find a away to dig over to where the little girl was stuck? I mean, we didn't even know if Jessica was going to amount to anything. Was she going to do well in school, complete her homework and get stars on the top of her quizzes and tests? Was she going to behave and obey the rules? Really! Was she going to be worth all of this effort when we didn't even know what she was going to DO when she grew up? Besides, couldn't her parents just get together and make a new one?

Ok, I am being quite facetious. Why did we rescue her? Because as long as those listening devices were picking up Baby Jessica's cries and sounds from that well, we all knew that there was a precious human life to be saved. No matter what the cost in materials or how many human labor hours were needed, as long as she was alive, our efforts to get her out would be unceasing. Baby Jessica is a priceless, irreplaceable, infinitely valuable human being and so are YOU!

Distorting Reality

Over the years, through your experiences, your mind has picked up thought habits that do not accurately reflect reality. These thinking patterns were developed over time and now your mind 'sees' the world through these distorted glasses. In some areas of your life the distortion isn't great at all. In others, the misperception and myths are truly detrimental.

To learn more, click here.

Improving Your Reality

Your brain creates your reality. How much time do you spend thinking about your brain? Do you ever pay attention to your brain? Today we're going to discuss your brain's role in perception and reality. We'll also see if you have A.N.T.s in your brain.

John Milton in Paradise Lost wrote, "The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven."

In life, it is not what happens to you that determines what you do or how you feel; it is how your mind perceives reality that makes it so. So, how has your mind been making your reality?

Most people are unaware of how their thinking clouds their reality. They are unaware that they are not controlled by events or other people but by the perceptions their brains make of those events and people.

Take the stock markets across the world... some people are saddened, depressed and even angry over the falling stock prices. They see the value of their portfolios or 401k accounts dropping by 40% and react to their perception that the stock market is too risky so they pull their funds out of the market and put it in 'safer' investments (or under their mattress). Compare that to the people who saw the same drop of 40% in their investments and are excited. They are looking for cash to BUY more stocks because they view the current situation as a SALE... everything is 40% off!!

What's the difference? "Reality" is still reality... the stock market is down. But, their brains see the same situation from different perspectives and they will obtain different results. Understand that the view your brain takes of a situation, event or person has more reality in it than the actual situation itself.

Reality & Perception

Your perceptions bear witness to your state of mind and the state of your brain. What you see in life is based on your INNER view of the world formed by the neural connections of your mind. As your brain functions, so you perceive.

Dr. Daniel Amen in his book, Making a Good Brain Great, talks about a formula that he writes out for his patients:

A + B = C

A = Actual Event

B = Brain's interpretation or perception of the event

C = Conclusion or how you react to the event Most people think that the A things that happen to you determine your (C) behavior. Actually, it is the B part (your brain's interpretation or perception of the event) that largely determines how you respond. You spend a lot of your time, energy and money trying to change A thinking that it will change C. Other people and events (A) cannot make you do anything. It is your brain's interpretation or perception (B) that causes your behavior (C).

You should seek not only to change your outside world by learning different tips and techniques to manipulate and influence, but also (and more importantly) seek to change your inside world or how your brain perceives situations.

Here's a key point: Just as your brain can distort reality, it can also improve it!!

Read the rest of this article by clicking here.

Increasing The Power of Your Influence

You are an influencer - a leader. So let's talk about the neuro-axiology of sales - yes, sales. For those of you in business development, you'll find value in this article. For those of you who believe that you aren't in sales - LISTEN UP! Selling is a part of everyone's life.

The word "sell" comes from the Old English word "sellan" which means "to give". Yes, "give", not take or win. Selling is giving and (whether you are in a sales role or not) giving IS a part of your life.

Win/Win or Win/Not Lose?

Your brain naturally and consistently tries to add value. Every choice you make is a choice that your brain believes adds more value than your unchosen options.

As an influencer, leader, or sales person, your job is to help your client, customer, or follower make the best decision for THEM. You want a true win/win solution - which means the solution adds value to your life AND to theirs. Many times we see folks who try to manipulate the situation (you may even be guilty of this at times). When your mind is self-focused, it only cares to add value to your life. So, win/lose is acceptable, but in the long run does NOT add the most value. So, if you can't get a win/win maybe a win/not lose is acceptable. That means you win and the client or team member doesn't lose (but doesn't win either.) That ISN'T selling, giving, or influencing. That is manipulating, taking and DEVALUING!

We've all seen sporting events where teams decide to play 'not to lose' instead of playing to win. My beloved Steelers call it their 'prevent defense' - which usually prevents them from winning. But I digress... If both or all parties are not winning, then both or all parties will ultimately LOSE.

Many times you have a terrific solution for your client or team member yet they don't see the value. As an influencer, it is your role to help them do that. Understanding how the brain makes value-based decisions is what neuro-axiology is all about. When you understand neuro-axiology, even just a little bit, you'll be a better leader and influencer.

To learn more about the brain and your power to influence, click here.

Optical Delusions

Often, you hear statements that you perceive are unbelievable. You may even respond by saying, "Are you kidding me?!?" Today, I'd like you to focus on a similar question...

"Are you kidding YOU?!?"

Your perception is your reality. But, what if your perception doesn't accurately reflect the current moment? In order to bring intrinsic value to any moment, project, relationship, etc., you need to be aligned with the present reality.

What are optical delusions?

Well, I think you know what an optical illusion is, right? It's something that appears one way, but is actually another. Like the image to the right... it looks like the bottom line is longer than the top, yet if you measure them, they are exactly the same length.

In the picture to the left, how many triangles do you see? Most people will say 2 or 6 or 8. How many are there? ZERO! Your brain, however, has been trained to recognize patterns so it 'helps' you and somehow interprets the notches in the circles and the "V" shapes as triangles.

The word 'optical' refers to sight or vision. The word 'illusion' means something that deceives; a false impression or idea. However, the word 'delusion' refers to a persistent false belief.

You should recognize in the picture to the left that there are no triangles present. Even if you once believed the illusions that there were triangles, you should now be able to take a closer look and see that there are none. If you still held on to your belief, this would indicate a 'delusion'.

To read the rest of this article, click here.

Roles are Holes

Role playing is hard work. Have you ever noticed that?

Take a moment to observe how you interact with other people. You may detect changes in your attitude, behavior, and speech depending on who you are interacting with. When you talk to a child, or when you talk to a server in a restaurant, do you speak differently? How about when you talk to your boss or when you talk to the janitor? When you walk into a store or the post office or the department of motor vehicles you may act differently than when you walk into your home or attend your kid's ballgame.

Why is that? Well, simple... you are playing roles. You are becoming the person you think you should be in that situation. Your mind has developed an idea about how you should behave in the situation. In that case, you are NOT being yourself.

Playing Your Roles

So, you might have just had the thought, "of course I act differently in different situations". You can't act like a teacher when you are a customer in the store. You can't act like you're the owner of the business when you're just an employee. You can't act like a project manager when you're the CEO. You can't act like a child when you're the parent. Of course we act differently in different situations.

Really? Why is that? Think about it. In each of these instances, why can't you just be you? Why do you have to 'act' at all? Where do these expectations come from? (The Good Fairy or the Dark Fairy? - to repeat a phrase we discussed in a previous newsletter.)

Many times you completely forget about your intrinsic nature, your being, because you are so focused on your extrinsic nature. How often do you see yourself as a 'human doing'? You have this image or concept that your mind has created (or accepted) about how you should act in each specific situation in your life.

If you live in America or another free country, you should appreciate the freedom that you have to choose. You no longer live within a "class system". In civilizations where liberty is not a birthright, certain functions are allotted to certain people. You are a 'born' ruler, priest, warrior, farmer, craftsman, laborer, merchant, and so on. In a free country, your function in this world, which would have been a matter of your birth, does not have to be your role.

Your Role Holes

Today social structures are less rigid and less clearly defined. Yet, you still create these roles in your own mind and firmly place yourself into them. What do these roles look like? Your roles can fall into a number of categories:

• Functions: As we've discussed, the role you choose can be based on the functions you fulfill. You can be a parent, a child, a sibling, a leader, a follower, etc.
• Beliefs & Values: The role you choose can be based on your beliefs... your religion, your political affiliations, the causes you support. You may be a Christian, Hindu, Muslim, etc. Or a Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent. Or an animal rights activist, MADD member, 'green' supporter.
• Emotional: Happiness and "Just Fine", are roles that you may play. You hide behind a smiling, positive façade, while truly you feel discouraged, frustrated, or disappointed.
• Circumstances: You can find yourself playing the hero or the villain... the lover or the fighter... the victor or the victim.

In all of these instances, you are defining yourself through a role... putting yourself in a hole that limits your 'being'. Your "role hole" is the pit that limits your intrinsic (infinite) nature.

Click here to read more...

Intrinsic Faith vs. Intrinsic Fear

Thanks to those of you who have sent comments and compliments on my last two newsletters. Those fantasy fairies and contemptuous eye rolls seem to be prevalent amongst you. I hope you're staying on the lookout for them.

This month I'd like to talk to you about the properties and characteristics of success. As Og Mandino writes, "Which two, among a thousand wise men, will define success in the same words; yet failure is always described but one way. Failure is man's inability to reach his goals in life, whatever they may be. In truth, the only difference between those who have failed and those who have succeeded lies in the difference of their habits. Good habits are the key to all success. Bad habits are the unlocked door to failure. Thus, the first law I will obey, which preceedeth all others is - I will form good habits and become their slaves."

Yes, "good habits are the key to all success." So, what good habits have you purposefully and consciously acquired lately?

Intrinsic Fears

In my studies of Dr. Robert Hartman's works in axiology, I came across his "twenty properties of the self test" and I want to share these with you. He labeled these qualities 'intrinsic faith" and "intrinsic fear". The qualities of "Intrinsic Faith" positively enrich our lives while those of "Intrinsic Fear" diminish us.

Let's take a look at his intrinsic fears. While we do this, I have purposefully not put them in a list format but rather added them throughout the text so that your brain won't skim through it. I want to encourage you to think about each property or characteristic. Yes, it would've been much easier to simply copy and paste his list, but please take the time to read through these. Consider these questions as you read through this list...

• Are you making excuses for your behaviors that match the intrinsic fears?
• Are your thoughts telling you that you don't 'fear' anything?
• Do one or more of these words stand out as thoughts/behaviors that you have frequently?

1Defiance and Spitefulness top Hartman's list. Do you ever feel 2Aggressive or Defensive? Has anyone ever told you that you are overly 3Competitive? Do you exhibit 4Restrictiveness or Narrowness? How about 5Cynicism which is a distrust of the integrity or intentions of others? Do you ever feel 6Sanctimoniousness or Holier-than-thou? How about 7Greed or 8Vanity? Are you 9Easily Hurt or Touchy at times? Even though you don't like to admit it, do you ever feel 10Cowardice in the face of danger, difficulty, opposition or pain? At times are you 11Vengeful and vindictive or 12Heavy Handed? Hartman also lists 13Complicated / Lack of Common Sense as an intrinsic fear. Do you ever have a sense of 14Irrelevance / No Sense of Proportion? How about 15Irrationality, 16Systemic-ness or Rigidity? Do you ever feel 17Tense or Frantic? Do you act with 18Inconsistency, Hesitation or Impatience? Do you sometimes feel 19Non-aware, Dull or Cold? Do you ever suffer from 20Indifference or that "Whatever (insert eye roll here) attitude"?

It's a Small, Small World

Here is an abridged version of Hartman's description of Intrinsic Fear... {Click here for the rest of the newsletter.}

The Contemptuous Eye Roll

So far this year I have been talking about intrinsic valuation. That is, how we can value others intrinsically by holding them in esteem, admiring them for who they are (not simply for what they do), treasuring and cherishing them as a unique, irreplaceable human beings.

What I'd like to draw your attention to in this issue is how we can recognize when we are doing just the opposite... when we are devaluing others. If you can learn to recognize a key component to this transposition of value, you will be one step closer to being able to bring truly positive value to those around you.

In my coaching practice, the key goal is to basically shorten and eventually eliminate the time between when you recognize you messed up and when you actually messed up. If you, at this Pivotal Moment, can choose a different response, YOU will be able to be on your true path to success. If you don't choose to respond differently and ignore a sabotaging thought, you will greatly hinder your success.

Let's learn about a commonly overlooked (devaluing) expression...

World Famous Face Reader

Have you ever heard of Paul Ekman? Dr. Paul Ekman is a professor of psychology who has become the world's most famous face reader. The Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI), the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) and state and local police forces have turned to Dr. Ekman for help learning to read subtle emotional cues from the faces, voices and body language of potential assassins, terrorists and questionable visa applicants. The detailed knowledge of facial expression has earned Dr. Ekman a supporting role in the movie industry, where he has consulted with animators from Pixar and Industrial Light & Magic to give lifelike expressions to cartoon characters.

Dr. Ekman's expertise is very unique and can be very helpful when understanding when we are de-valuing others. For instance, Dr. Ekman is able to accurately predict whether a couple will divorce in the next 4 years simply by watching (not even hearing) a couple's conversation. He doesn't even need to see the whole conversation... he only needs to see 3-4 minutes to make his prediction. He is right 94% of the time!!

How does he do it?

Dr. Ekman understands that we have micro-expressions that are exposed on our faces that represent how we REALLY feel. These micro-expressions are brief (lasting just a few milliseconds) and contain emotional signals regarding our internal thoughts.

Dr. Ekman studies show that there are many facial expressions that can predict when a relationship will fail but one of the most telling is the contemptuous eye roll!

Paul Ekman discovered this contemptuous facial expression which involves pulling one lip corner to the side and creating a dimple usually accompanied by an eye roll. Just counting how many times somebody did that facial expression when conversing with their partner was an excellent predictor of whether they would get divorced or not.

Let's look at this expression and see if you can recognize this in your life...

We don't talk about contempt much in our society unless, of course, we're talking about courtrooms and lawyers. So, what is contempt? Contempt is a feeling of being better than another person, of being superior, usually morally superior but it can also be felt toward some who is weaker in intelligence, strength, and so forth. Basically, contempt is devaluing another person and overvaluing your self.

During that moment of contempt, your mind is convincing YOU that by devaluing another, you are some how more valuable. That simply is NOT true! Value is not a zero-sum game.

{Click here to read the rest of the article.}

Fantasy Fairies and other mental traps

To keep with my intrinsic value theme this year, I thought I’d take a different approach in this month’s newsletter and discuss one of the major obstacles to focusing on the things in our lives that bring infinite (intrinsic) value. What is this key barrier that keeps us from embracing principles, opportunities, and challenges? What continually sabotages us from engaging in life, connecting with people, creating value, and contributing to our world?

I like to call them “Fantasy Fairies”. These fantasy fairies fly around our minds creating images that draw us from reality to make-believe land.

Sometimes they are pleasant, kind, gentle. You may even view them as positive. These fairies may help you to build images of where you are going to be in 5 years… with increased wealth, happiness, joy, balance and lots of recreation. Oh, how wonderful your life will be ‘when’. The good fantasy fairy helps you to build castles in the sky. She can even help you to move in! She keeps telling you that if you keep imagining the wonderful thoughts that she has for you over and over again, you will soon have those amazingly wonderful things in your life.

You may also have fantasy fairies that flutter around your mind that aren’t so pleasant. These I call Dark Fairies. These fairies create images of doom and gloom. They give you feelings of frustration, discouragement, failure. They create visions of how people are out to get you. They ‘help’ you to ‘understand’ the intentions of others (even when you can’t possibly know these intentions). You know what I’m talking about… when someone writes you a short email or says a few short words to you. Your dark fantasy fairy helps you to believe that it is because they are mad at you or that they don’t like you. In reality, they may just be having a bad day and aren’t really thinking about you at all.

"Hope is for sissies."

Both of these fantasy fairies, the bright one and the night one, keep you from being you. When you live in your mind, you are not living in the world. This reminds me of a great line I heard on House the other night (5/5/08). {Click here to read more.}

Effective Delegating

If you recall, last month we talked about your 'plate' and trying to balance everything that was on it. We talked about how your thoughts can impact your life and get in the way of keeping your plate level and easier to balance. This month we'll talk about delegating.

If you want to live a balanced, fulfilling life, you must free up mental, physical and emotional energy to pursue the things that bring the most value to your life.

Look at your current responsibilities. Which ones are you most passionate and excited about? Which tasks are you best at doing? Which tasks add value to your life and the lives of those around you? Take a few seconds and jot down this list.

Now, for all the things that you do that aren't on your list, you have a couple of options... drop them all together or delegate them to others.

Work should always be done by the lowest competent level. (Now I'm not criticizing anyone's competence, but we have all started at a lower competency level than we are at currently.) So ask yourself this question with every project or every task, "Do I really need to be the one who does this? If not me, then who?" Go to the next lower level and ask the same question. Go down through the ranks until you find the individual to which you have the authority to delegate this task or project.

Road Blocks to Delegation

That all sounds perfectly sensible, doesn't it? So, why don't you do it?

There are many reasons why you don't delegate. Here are a few of the most common:

1. It would be quicker to do it myself.
2. I'll feel better doing it myself.
3. I don't have anyone that I can trust to do it right.
4. I can do it better myself.

Each one of these reasons is supported by an 'unbalanced' thought process. Which one resembles your most prevalent reason for not delegating? Do you use more than one of these excuses regularly?

Let's look at each of these: {Click here for the rest of the newsletter.}

Balancing Your Plate

Do you have a lot on your plate? Most of us do. There are times in our lives when we are overwhelmed, exhausted or even discouraged by all that we have to do. In this newsletter, I want us to take a look at your plate... not only what is on top of it, but what it is supporting it.

Your plate is usually full of all the things you have to do and all of the roles you have to play. If you look at it from above it may look like this...

Here, the green ball may represent the tasks and role of your job or business. The blue ball may represent your health and workout regimen. The red ball may represent your community activities. You get the picture, right? You have all these balls balancing on your plate every single day. Sometimes, one of them will roll close to the edge and you'll have to drop what you're doing to pay attention to it and bring it back to the center of the plate. But, while you're doing that, another ball starts to roll off the edge. Does that sound familiar?

We all know that focusing on keeping the balls on our plate is important, but how would it feel if we could bring our plate more into balance? What if it wasn't consistently leaning to one side or the other? What if we were to look at what is holding up your plate and could somehow steady your plate?Wouldn't a level, balanced plate make balancing everything on it much easier?

It's not what's on your plate, but what's under it

The main supports of your plate are your values and value judgments. Your values determine your choices. Your choices determine your actions. Your actions determine your results (which balls are firmly on your plate and which ones are teetering on the edge.) So, what determines your values? Quite simply, your thoughts.

As the science of axiology has uncovered, there are 3 classes of value into which every one of your thoughts fall.

There is SYSTEMIC value... conceptual or theoretical value. Constructs of the mind, expectations and ideas fall into this class of value. The value of perfection, black and white thinking; consistency, order, conformity; authority; anything that is part of a system - all fall under the systemic class of value.

There is the EXTRINSIC value class... practical or situational value. These are material values or concrete things. You can compare these things as in good, better or best. They have functional and material value. Your tasks and roles, what you do - all fall under the extrinsic class of value.

Then, there is INTRINSIC value... personal or spiritual value. These are the infinite, irreplaceable, worth of individuals. The immeasurable value of the unique and one-of-a-kind. Your own being, timeless principles like wisdom and integrity fall into the intrinsic value class.

In order to keep your plate balanced, your thoughts in each of these value classes must be balanced. What does that mean? {Click here to read the rest of the newsletter.}

Developing a Motivated Mindset

As I discussed in last month's newsletter, my focus this year is to help you increase the intrinsic (infinite, everlasting) value in and around your life. This month's newsletter is designed to help you do just that. Our society worships talent - just look at how much we pay our athletes and star performers. Many people assume that possessing superior skill or intelligence - along with confidence - is the recipe for success. However, Carol Dweck, a Psychology professor at Stanford University, says that more than 30 years of scientific investigation suggests that an overemphasis on intellect or talent leaves people a) vulnerable to failure, b) fearful of challenges and c) unwilling to remedy their deficiencies. Can you believe that? How can over-focus on brain power and talent prevent us from succeeding? That seems a bit counter-intuitive but let's look at this in more detail through the theory of "mindsets". Theory of Mindsets One theory says that there are 2 general classes of learners: fixed mind-set and growth mind-set. People who have a fixed mindset believe that “they are the way they are”. They believe that intelligence, skills, leadership, etc. are fixed traits. That doesn’t mean that they have less of a desire for a positive self-image than anyone else. They do, of course, want to look good, smell good and perform well. Yet, there are some characteristics evident in those with a fixed mindset:

• They Avoid Challenges - Rather than risk failing and negatively impacting their self-image, they will often avoid challenges and stick to what they know they can do well.
• They Avoid Obstacles - They would rather give up easily than risk not overcoming.
• They Ignore Negative Feedback - Well, ignore is the best of cases; feedback is often taken as an insult. They believe that any criticism of their capabilities is criticism of them personally.
• They are Threatened by the Success of Others - They will try to convince themselves and the people around them that the success of others was due to either luck or unethical actions.
• They Believe Effort is Fruitless - Hard work doesn't pay because 'you are what you are', 'you can only do what you can do'.

Do you know of anyone like that? Do you, at times, feel like that?

Let's now look at a growth mindset. {Click here to read the rest of the article.}

Choose Your Direction

For most of us, every New Year brings us to thoughts of New Goals. This year, I'd like for you to try a New Approach. "Experts" will tell you to set clear, defined, measurable goals... short-range, mid-range and long-range goals... and don't forget to put a date on them - a deadline. So you'll list out things like Lose 20 pounds by 3/30/08; Volunteer at Soup Kitchen by 2/29/08, Learn to Speak Spanish by 9/30/08, Take Technical Training Class by 7/31/08, Clean Garage by 4/30/08. Then, as the year goes along, IF you remember, you'll look at these goals and "work on" them. Some you might even accomplish. But, as I wrote about last time, my resolution for 2008 is to help you bring Intrinsic (infinite) value to who you are and what you do. So, I'm going to ask you to take a new approach this year... DON'T WRITE DOWN YOUR GOALS!! (yet) What? That may sound silly coming from someone who is a coach. I mean, shouldn't I be helping people to accomplish their goals? Allow me to explain. Yale Goals Study Never Happened Have you heard this story told by motivational speakers, coaches and personal development gurus? In the annals of personal goal-setting, no story outranks the Yale University Class of 1953. The story goes like this: In 1953, researchers surveyed Yale's graduating seniors to determine how many of them had specific, written goals for their future. The answer: 3%. Twenty years later, researchers polled the surviving members of the Class of 1953 -- and found that the 3% with written goals had accumulated more personal financial wealth than the other 97% of the class combined! It's a coach's and motivational speaker's dream anecdote: a vivid Ivy League success story that documents the cause-and-effect relationship between goals and personal success. It's convincing! It's compelling! It's also completely untrue! After an exhaustive search of Yale alumni archives and in-depth investigations into the source of the study (as quoted by Zig Ziglar, Tony Robbins, and others), there is absolutely no evidence that this study EVER took place. You can't always believe what the gurus say, even if they say it over and over and over again. That's why we depend on science. Using Your Brain Let's look at how your brain handles dreams and goals... {To read the rest of this article, click here.}

In Search of Infinite Value

Recently I released my latest monthly newsletter titled "In Search of Infinite Value".

In business (and in life), we focus on strategy, vision, ideas and planning (especially as we start a new year). Then, we switch and focus on execution, tasks, priorities. We focus on achieving tangible results: increasing sales, retaining talent, increasing stock prices, etc. Often times the important intangibles, like higher morale, motivation and commitment are overlooked.

We as individuals tend to do the same. We compare where we are today to where we were a year ago. We look at our paycheck, our car, our house. We compare these to our family members and friends and co-workers. Then, what do we do? We make grand plans to do more and have more by the end of the upcoming year.

If you'd like to read the entire article, click here and enjoy!

Fear & Fearlessness

Recently, I released the latest edition of Breaking Free - my monthly newsletter that offers tips on how to be the best you can be. This month we discuss fearlessness. Do you recognize the common fears that may be getting in your way every day? Many times we don't because "we've always been that way." Some of the common fears that often times unknowingly hold us back are:

• Fear of Success
• Fear of Failure
• Fear of Change
• Fear of Loss or Death
• Fear of Self-Awareness or Introspection
• Fear of Being Judged or Embarrassment
• Fear of the Being Controlled / Out of Control
• Fear of Trusting Others or Commitment

Do any of those resonate with you?

In many cases, we have feared something for so long that we don't even recognize that it is actually fear that is holding us back.

Here are a few symptoms that can be attributed to fear:

• Procrastination, Laziness
• Absentmindedness
• Anxiety, Stress
• Social Withdrawal, Distrust
• Restlessness - always busy, busy, busy
• Overanalyzing or Perfectionism
• Inability to stay in the "Now"
• Frustration, Guilt, Obligation

Do any of those resonate with you?

If so, read the rest of my newsletter on my website. Go to http://www.breakfreeconsulting.com/newsletters/200711-fearlessness.htm.

Symphonic Leadership

I recently released my lastest newsletter titled "A New Picture of Leadership".

In this new approach to leadership, the focus is on the followers! It's premise is that there is no pre-determined set of characteristics or traits that assure a person is a good or great leader. In this new model, the traits that the leader needs to be successful depends upon the nature of their team.

I call this new approach to leadership "symphonic leadership". As a conductor, you must understand a variety of components including the musical composition (the goal, structure and process), the individual players, their instruments, and their capabilities (the team, their tools and their talents), and the means of orchestrating all of these elements together to produce the harmonious blend of sounds that will move the souls of the audience (your clients).

Learn what it takes to be a symphonic leader by reading the entire article at http://www.breakfreeconsulting.com/newsletters/200710-new_leadership.htm.

Back To School

Recently I published my latest newsletter....

Yes, it's that time of year again. Whether you have children or not, I'm sure that you will in some way be affected by the back to school crowds. The roads will be more crowded. You'll have the flashing lights that make you drive slower through the school zones. You may have to run the kids around to different extracurricular activities in the evenings. There is a lot going on at first, but then we should all fall back into the familiar routine.

So, my question today is: The kids are back in school. Are you?

Ray Kroc once asked it this way: Are you green and growing or ripe and rotting?

Go to http://www.breakfreeconsulting.com/newsletters/200709-backtoschool.htm to read more!!